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Back
to School -- Time to Make a
Dinner Resolution
By Dr. Dale Archer
Published August 22, 2011
Each
year, many of us choose to make a
New Year’s resolution in order to better ourselves, our loved ones and
our
lives in general. School days are here again, and this year I propose
that you
commit to a School Year resolution that will benefit all of the above.
Your
life will be better, your children’s lives improved and you will give
them
memories that will last a lifetime. How much will this cost? Zero, yet
it’s
priceless. It’s time. Time spent as a family…at the dinner table.
When
I was growing up, there was one
constant, never to be missed. Nothing trumped this occasion; not
school,
extracurricular activities or friends. This was the evening meal.
Family
dinner time was
6:00p.m.--sharp, and there was no excuse to miss it. Even as a
teenager, armed
with my driver’s license, before 6:00 rolled around I would have to
leave what
I was doing, go home, sit down at the table and eat with the family.
Only then
was I free to return to what I was doing.
It
didn’t matter how long dinnertime
lasted. Sometimes a brief 20 minutes, other times an hour. But it was a
time
when we all connected, tightening the bond that holds a family
together. It
was, as they say, the good ol’ days, and it wasn’t until I got much
older that
I realized the value of those family gatherings.
The
evening meal allowed all of us to
keep up with each other, perhaps get some advice or learn about the
world. Mom and
Dad would suggest solutions for dealings with friends, temptations,
teachers,
classes and so much more. They were involved parents, knowing what we
did and
who we did it with.
This
time also allowed me to get a
vivid glimpse of life in America during the Great Depression and
realize how
lucky I was. As I got older, political, moral and philosophical
discussions
became the norm and we certainly didn’t always agree, but we would all
be there
to discuss.
This
was the 60’s and 70’s when
evening meals across America were a family priority, with everyone
sitting at
the table with the television off, where talk was the entertainment.
Imagine
today’s family sitting at the table, television off, answering machine
on,
computers, Play Stations and smart phones off.
What
would the family talk about? I
look around today at the classic disconnect in families around the
country.
Kids eat when they can, Mom and Dad are busy with work and their social
life,
and there are many days when parents and children only see each other
before
bedtime -- if then.
It
made me wonder how many of today’s
issues -- from violence to alcohol to drug abuse to technology
addictions --
could be solved by bringing back family dinnertime?
Turns
out, I’m not the only one who
has wondered. The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse
survey
demonstrated that a teen is seven times more likely to abuse
alcohol/drugs when
regular family dinners drop or stop.
Parental
influence -- when the parents
are there -- is alive and well in America. Consider this: When
dinnertime is
shared together as a family around the table, preschoolers have better
language
skills, adolescents perform better in school, and teenagers get more
A’s and
B’s.
William
J. Doherty, Ph.D. from the
University of Minnesota did a survey and found that more meal time at
home was
the single, strongest predictor of better achievement scores and fewer
behavioral problems.
Meal
time was more powerful than time
spent in school, studying, church, playing sports or extracurricular
activities. Also, these kids had a healthier diet and were less likely
to be
overweight.
Reviving
the family dinner will do
wonders for your own family as all members become connected again. Take
an
interest in each other, cheer accomplishments and give advice.
Teach
values to your children, and let
them see how serious you take your role as Mom and Dad. The evening
family meal
can be a “new” tradition that will catch on again, possibly even one
that your
children will pass on to their children. Then they will be telling
their own
children about the good ol’ days.
I’m
heading back to my Louisiana roots
to visit my parents soon. When I called Mom to let her know my arrival
day and
time, without hesitation, she said, “Great! We’ll see you at 6:00 for
dinner!”
Read
it at Foxnews
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