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Will & Guy’s New Years Humor...
Warning - Women’s
Body Parts Move
Open letter from Ms Peggy Legg
This is an explanation to those friends and family who have experienced
mysterious switches of their body parts. This effect is
especially noticeable in January.
You may have read of the scare story about the man whose kidneys were
stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on. While the kidney story
was an urban myth, my story is true - it occurs to me practically every
day.
My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago.
It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with
someone else’s thighs.
The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would have done
such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years? Whose thighs
were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking
for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out
my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.
Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My butt
was next.
I know it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new
rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower than my
original) to the thighs they stuck me with earlier.
Now, my rear end complimented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed
that long skirts would stay in fashion.
It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched.
One morning I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated
as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the
hairbrush.
This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced one section
at a time. How clever and fiendish.
Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to reap, unnoticed,
something like maturity.
NO, I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning. In despair I
gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next? My poor neck
disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving turkey it now resembled.
That’s why I decided to tell my story. I can’t take on the medical
profession by myself.
Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee. That really isn’t
plastic that those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they are getting
those replacement part, don’t you?
The next time you suspect someone has had a face ‘ lifted’ , look
again. Was it lifted from you? I think I finally found my thighs...and
I hope Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!
This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every
night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS women’s body parts move.
Yours alarmed
Peggy Legg
Read this and other anecdotes from Will & Guy’s New Years Humor
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