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Will the Kingdom Have a Candidate?
By Lincoln Brown
7/7/11 

“A horse! a horse! my kingdom for a horse!” - Richard The Third Act 5, scene 4 

Okay, so my kingdom is about an acre in size. And I live in the west, so chances are, I could find a horse if I really needed one. Hell out here people ride ‘em to the 7-11. In fact I can look out the window of my study and see several right now.  And my neighbors are nice people, so if I needed to borrow a horse I’m sure they would accommodate me. 

But we don’t need a horse. We need a candidate. Dear God, do we need a candidate. 

Living in the Beehive State, the two names that surface the most when it comes to the discussion of who will vie for the right to look impressive from the Rose Garden are of course Mitt Romney and *sigh* Jon Huntsman. 

To be fair, Mitt threw an impressive Olympiad. I actually ponied up $200 to a broker on the streets of Park City in 2002 for tickets to the Germany-China Women’s Hockey match up, and it was a good game. The next time we throw a world class life changing sporting event here in Utah I’m sure he’ll be the first one we call. But can I see him as the guy riding first-class on Air Force One? No. 

The biggest problem people have with Mitt seems to be the Osmosis Factor. Mitt seems capable of saying “Are you pro life? Well So am I; unless you aren’t. Isn’t his man-made global warming situation awful” It seems Mr. Romney assumes the shape and form of whatever audience to whom he is speaking. Haven’t we had enough of ersatz Republicans jockeying for the slot of “most enlightened”? How many times do we have to repeat: “We don’t need Democrat Lite or Democrat 2.0? Rick Perry was dead on when he told the Republicans in New Orleans to stop feeding the Liberal Alligator in the hopes you won’t be eaten. The Left doesn’t like us. Right now they’re mad at BHO for not being liberal enough. No GOP candidate can win by trying to Out-Herod Herod in the warm fuzzy and sensitive department. Perry was clear. Be who you are. Now if only Romney can figure that out and stick to it, then we would know what he have (or don’t have )on our hands. 

And Huntsman? Okay, so he can talk to the Chinese about human rights. That would be great f the Chinese actually cared what we thought about human rights. But he lost me with the civil campaign portion of his speech when he announced his run. Harry Reid is a fan of his, and to be honest I’m going to have a hard time getting behind  a candidate who got the nod from Harry Reid after his family gave Reid a pile of cash. 

Civility is fine, and it has its place. But if you heard even parts of the President’s  press conference on Wednesday, you would know civility went down the toilet some time back. If you watched an SEIU protestor call a 14 year old girl an “f--- brat” in Wisconsin earlier this year, you know civility was flattened on the center line miles back. If you watch the “flotilla” and anti Israel rhetoric out of the Left, you civility doesn’t have a Sno-Cones chance in Sheol these days. 

The Recreationer-In-Chief accuses Congress of not leading while he has done nothing substantive in terms of a budget. The nation’s Top Golfer makes a production out of threatening to hold Congress over as he makes plans for another Martha’s Vineyard vacation. We see the Audacity of Obama in full flower when he lauds New York’s approval of gay marriage as something that should be settled on a state level while trying to federalize healthcare. Maybe it’s the Libertarian in me coming out, but I really don’t care who marries whom, especially when an individual mandate for health care has far more dire and more reaching implications. 

Civility? You won’t find that in this administration. You won’t find it in the Mainstream Media, and you won’t find it in their supporters. Whether it is a Bachman gaffe or Sarah Palin’s disabled son, the Left recognizes no non-combatants and for my money lost its last shred of decency with the demise of Tip O’Neil. 

Do we need a candidate that will be uncivil? No. but we need a candidate who is willing to stand up and say a few things. 

So with your forbearance here is what my ideal candidate will say to the President. Civilly, of course: 

You’re wrong when you try to scare the poor, Blacks, Hispanics and Native Americans with the rhetoric that Republicans hate them. And it is soft-core racism to treat them as nothing more than a cache of voting blocs. They deserve a shot at the American dream, not just to be one of your hanging chads in 2012. They are not chattel they are Americans. 

The Marble Mafia can’t pass a balanced budget amendment but the Senate will go to the mat for the Dream Act? Does that mean to hell with all of the legal citizens and those immigrants how have gone through the process as they should? They only thing more disgusting about such a blatant attempt to buy votes is the fact that you might get away with it. 

Until your big name supporters sell everything they own and give the money to the poor, lay off the tax hikes. You and they made more money last year than most Americans will see in a life time. Don’t try to feed me government cheese and juice boxes while left wing celebrities live high on the hog and avail themselves of tax breaks. We will not be content to eat cake, President Antoinette. Don’t make me look under my couch cushions for spare change for the IRS until you guys in D.C. have cut to the bone and your red carpet contributors engage in a little austerity themselves. 

Entitlements are being abused. Reform means divesting the entitlement rolls of those should not be on them. For you to play the Entitlement card is odious. 

Seen Greece, lately? 

The Left wants the government out of the bedroom. Fine as long as it stays out of the rest of the house as well. 

If states can work out gay marriage on their own, they can work out healthcare on their own. Don’t raise my premiums to the point that I have to buy your healthcare plan that I don’t want and don’t need because I can’t afford the one that I chose. 26 states don’t want your plan sir. 26 states. I know you get the message, you just don’t give a damn. 

And another thing- since when did a bunch of Democratic legislators have a clue about how to fix health care? Instead of midnight strategy sessions, maybe you should ask health care professionals, you know people who actually work in hospitals where the cost overruns are occurring. Maybe we should lower the costs before we add another layer to government and more agents to the IRS. 

Don’t tell Brazil you’re going to buy their oil and let ours sit in the ground when it could be providing fuel and jobs to the American people. Ditto natural gas from Russia. 

Get the EPA off our backs, recycle the mercury in your light bulbs and quit letting the environmentalists use taxpayer money to sue companies trying to create jobs and provide energy. Most of the companies you are screwing are smaller operations, anyway. We thought you liked the middle class. 

Speaking energy, seen Spain lately? 

You’ve golfed enough. Get back to work. 

The Stimulus created government jobs. The Government creates nothing and sells nothing.  The Government has no role in the free market except to get out of the way. 

Quit slamming big  business, except when it comes to guys like Imelda and your other buddies and bundlers. Even the Left called foul on Imelda. 

Israel is the best friend we have in the Middle East. You ought to be ashamed of yourself for even contemplating pre-1976 borders. 

In case you haven’t noticed. Iran is pretty darn close to having a bomb. Apparently you haven’t noticed the psychotic situation in Iran despite the fact that the Green Movement in Iran has been begging for you to at least throw them a bone in terms of a statement of support. 

Thanks for the GM bailout, by they way. I know the UAW appreciated the money and to hell with those shareholders. By the way the Chevy Volt? Just ain’t happening. 

Finally sir, your plans just aren’t working. It’s clear at this point its all about command and control. You came to power through an election, not a coronation. It’s time to move aside and let someone lead. 

So, my kingdom for a candidate. 

Maybe by the time it is said and done, we will have a candidate, be it a Perry, a Bachman a Cain or a Paul who will speak truth to power and the American People. Lord knows we haven’t had someone like that in a while. Whoever has the guts to say that in a clear voice has my vote. 

Even if it is a horse. 

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