Townhall...
Even
Bedtime Stories Get Profane
6/24/2011
by Brent Bozell
The
mass-marketing of profanity just
won’t stop. Now it’s topping the best-selling book list -- in
children’s
picture books. You might have heard by now that there’s a “subversive”
little
bedtime book for adults. It should not be read to children. It’s called
“Go the
F-- to Sleep.”
Anyone
who’s ever been up at 2 in the
morning with a baby or toddler knows exactly the feeling that is being
exploited here. “Total genius,” says the blurb on the front cover.
Genius it is
not. Anybody could have written this book in 90 minutes, tops. It’s
just having
the “bright idea” of a naughty nighty-night book that might make the
get-rich-quick schemers jealous.
The
book could not be smaller (32
pages, seven ounces, and less than nine inches by six inches), but it
retails
for $14.95. This could be called getting your cursing bang for the
buck. There
are 428 words in this stupid thing, and 24 are curse words. That’s
about one
profanity out of every 18 words. Shakespearean.
But
wait! There’s more! Barnes and
Noble is even helpful to the buyer of this epic work of “genius” in
recommending other tomes in this genre. On the sales slip, they insist
that if
you like this, of course you’ll enjoy other literary works of high art
like
“S-- My Dad Says,” “Farts” and “(A-Words) Finish First.”
The
publisher of “Go” is Akashic
Books, a small purveyor of “urban literary fiction,” which is a fancy
way of
saying “junk.” The imprint’s founder, Johnny Temple, told the U.K
Guardian he
was a little reluctant to buy it at first, but “it was definitely an
interesting
idea, and being the father of two little kids, I immediately sent it to
my wife
and other parents to gauge their reaction.” The feedback he received
was
unanimous, he reported: “They were all vehement in encouraging me to
publish
it. My wife’s e-mail response was just two words: ‘I’m weeping.’”
The
author of this tiny product, Adam
Mansbach, usually writes novels, but he started writing these dirty
little
poems when his daughter wouldn’t go to sleep. The poems went viral
online, and
then people insisted it be a book. The book was supposed to be out in
October,
but was selling like crazy online in March, so publication was moved up
to
June.
Now
the book is not only an American
phenomenon; it’s been picked up by Canongate in the UK, and Fox bought
the film
rights. A (SET ITAL) film (SET ITAL)? This book literally takes two
minutes to
read. (In fact, you can -- and should -- read it in the store and put
it back
on the shelf.)
Canongate’s
Francis Bickmore says the
book is so clever and “resonant” with “such a strong sense of voice.”
What
idiocy. It “strikes a note of solidarity for all parents” and “might
just
become the ultimate gift book.”
There
are critics, they briefly
acknowledge, but the author bizarrely claims that none of them are
parents.
Clearly, he doesn’t get out of his own bubble much. An ungenerous
person would
point out that some of these hostile bouquets of “radical honesty”
sound like
verbal abuse. Most parents have these selfish feelings inside their own
heads.
But if you heard a parent say to a small child, “F---- your stuffed
bear, I’m
not getting you s--,” you’d probably think they could use a parenting
class or
two.
The
same goes for “Hell no, you can’t
go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f-- to sleep.” And:
“For
real, shut the f-- up and sleep.” And: “I know you’re not thirsty.
That’s
bulls--. Stop lying. Lie the f-- down, my darling, and sleep.”
But
acid-tongued people want their
acid-tongued kiddie books. Another fashionable publisher, McSweeney’s,
printed
a book called “Baby Get Me Some Lovin’,” by Lisa Brown. The promotional
copy
promises, “If you’re a new parent, you know how hard it is to get
quality alone
time with your partner. Instead of blaming the kid, put him to work!
This handy
manual will teach your baby how to set the mood for an intimate evening
(and
then make himself scarce). Thanks, Baby!”
Is
it getting too serious to decry a
book like “Go the Bleep to Sleep”? After all, if it takes two minutes
to read
it, it might take two minutes to forget it. Is this just a faddish
product you
can only package and sell once? Perhaps. But best-sellers like this
suggest
people have a love affair with profane rants, and that profanity sells,
and
sells very well. Such garbage could end up defining a culture.
Read
it at Townhall
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