Townhall...
There’s Something
About Marriage
by David Harsanyi
When an actress -- no, an artist -- the caliber of Cameron Diaz weighs
in on the future of social institutions, America has an obligation to
listen.
And listen we did. In a widely discussed interview with Maxim magazine,
Diaz offered America a peek at her body, her relationship with Yankees
slugger Alex Rodriguez (which, needless to say, is “awesome”) and her
views on the future of matrimony. Does she think marriage is a dying
institution? “I do,” she explained. “I think we have to make our own
rules. I don’t think we should live our lives in relationships based
off of old traditions that don’t suit our world any longer.”
Let’s for a moment pretend that we share a world with Cameron Diaz.
Does marriage suit this domain? It should be noted that this ancient
ritual is at the center of an emotional national debate. There is one
side claiming that exclusion from it is discrimination and another
claiming that the very sanctity of the institution is at stake. I’d say
lots of folks are expending a ton of energy and angst arguing over a
ritual that’s on its last legs.
We all know why men marry. Love, yes. I’ve been married to a wonderful
woman for, like, 10 -- or maybe it’s 11 or 12 (somewhere in that area)
-- years. But men are irresponsible and forgetful. The evolutionary
need for companionship is a need to moderate childishness and bring a
basic moral order to lives that would otherwise revolve around sports
highlight shows. Women? Love, of course. But historically, as Diaz
implies, it’s also been somewhat of a necessity.
Things are changing. A new Pew study says that Americans are postponing
marriage and that fewer of us are getting hitched. But those who do
marry stay together longer. “Three in four couples who married after
1990 celebrated a 10-year anniversary,” according to a Washington Post
story on census statistics. “That was a rise of three percentage points
compared with couples who married in the early 1980s, when the nation’s
divorce rate was at its highest.” Researchers are also finding a
connection between marriage and education. In 1996, only 21 percent of
brides had a college degree, but by 2009, it was 31 percent. It seems
to be growing.
Women with higher education levels are increasingly marrying. These are
also presumably women who are likelier to have the economic freedom not
to be married. So why do they do it?
I found studies and stories claiming that married Americans are
healthier -- less likely to get pneumonia or develop cancer or have
heart attacks or dementia -- than non-married Americans. According to
other studies, married people live more content lives and are less
likely to commit suicide (granted, a pretty low bar of happiness, but
still) or worry. Married couples are financially better off, and their
children are usually more successful.
Why are couples staying together? Like Diaz, we can hypothesize.
Perhaps the rise of connective technology has created marriages based
more on compatibility than immediacy or luck. Perhaps we have
readjusted to our life expectancy and marry later and thus more
smartly. Whatever the reasons, marriage can bring a healthier life.
This is not a moral observation of a traditionalist, but indisputable.
There is innate need pulling us to marriage. It’s been around from
prehistory, and it has taken many forms -- polygamy, polyandry and my
historical favorite, polyfidelity -- but it’s never been close to
passing on. Today we’ve settled on monogamy, and it has brought great
stability and structure to society. It’s probably busy readjusting
rather than dying.
I’d prove this firsthand to doubters, but alas, Cameron, I am spoken
for.
Read it at Townhall
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