Ohio Republican Party Governor Ted's Top Ten Talking Points for DNC By Chairman Bob Bennett
Editor’s Note: With apologies to my Democrat
friends… this is an actual press release from ORP Chair Bob Bennett. I couldn’t
resist. PS… I will publish Blog humor from both sides of the aisle.
Bennett on Governor Ted Stickland’s keynote
speech at the Democratic National Convention, along with a list of 10 talking
points…
The Democratic National Convention is apparently
so desperate for speakers they actually have Ted Strickland on the schedule.
Whoever decided to give a speaking role to a fired governor responsible for
400,000 lost jobs ought to have their head examined... but then again, I've
been saying that about the Democrats for years.
The following is a preview of what Ted might say in (his) speech.
10. "After John Tester, Joe Manchin, Claire McCaskill, Bernie
Sanders, and the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers declined
invites to the Convention, the DNC was looking to fill-in. And since everyone
from the speaker of the New York General Assembly to the Democratic
Congressional Campaign Committee warned all their members to stay away, -- I'm
honored you asked me to be here tonight!"
9. "Representative Betty Sutton is back home in Ohio tonight.
She said she didn't come to the Convention because she has 'things to
do'. Lucky for me, after the Ohio voters fired me, my schedule is wide
open!"
8. "For those of you who don't know me, you may recognize me from
the 'Shame on you Barack Obama' commercial!"
7. "It's good to see a decent crowd here in Charlotte tonight. I
spoke at the Obama campaign kick-off in Columbus this year and that place was
half empty!"
6. "Under Barack Obama, fewer Americans are working today than when
he took office. I'm happy to report that I contributed 400,000 lost jobs to
that effort!"
5. "You know, if I just keep taking credit for the economy during
the last two years before I took office and the first two years of the Kasich
administration, I can say I had a fantastic four years as Governor of
Ohio!"
4. "Republicans claim John Kasich cleaned up the mess I left behind
as Governor. But I'm here tonight to make the case that it was Barack Obama who
cleaned up the mess I left behind as Governor!"
3. "John Kasich is no Barack Obama. Kasich balanced a budget,
cut taxes, and had a laser-focus on job creation. Barack Obama hasn't
done a single one of those things! He's nothing like John Kasich!"
2. "I'm glad the Democrats are refusing to answer 'are you better
off today than you were four years ago?' I've learned a lot watching them
dodge and duck that question, and claim it's the wrong question to ask.
Where the hell were these guys when I needed them in 2010?"
1. "Mitt Romney is running a scary campaign. Like John Kasich two
years ago he's smearing his opponent by pointing out facts about his record.
That's bad news folks -- because it usually works!"
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