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The Daily Signal
These College
Students Propose to Bring Back Dating for Valentine’s Day
Kristiana Mork
February 12, 2016
Students at 36 schools across the country are campaigning to bring back
dating just in time for Valentine’s Day.
Students from Princeton University to Stanford University, and many
schools in between, partnered with the Love and Fidelity Network this
week to host flower and candy giveaways, film screenings, discussions,
and lectures—all designed to encourage college students to try dating
rather than hooking up.
“There’s the hookup script or just the hangout script, but there’s not
a path to a romantic relationship,” Christian Say, former president of
the Princeton University Anscombe Society, a student organization
committed to promoting family, marriage, and sexual integrity, told The
Daily Signal.
The Love and Fidelity Network, which provides students with resources
to defend marriage, family, and sexual integrity on their campuses,
organized the Bring Dating Back campaign last year out of concern that
students don’t know how to form healthy relationships. This year the
group has eyes on Sunday, which is Valentine’s Day.
It’s a problem of narrative, Caitlin La Ruffa, executive director of
the Love and Fidelity Network, told The Daily Signal.
“There are only two narratives,” La Ruffa said. “One narrative is the
hookup culture, which is anonymous; there’s no communication and no
caring. Students get hurt, and it’s just not healthy.”
The other option is being “overly attached” and “codependent” before
even getting to know each other, she explained.
“We’re here to propose a new script, a script that says an invitation
to coffee isn’t a marriage proposal, just a way to get to know someone.”
During its first year, the campaign focused on providing practical
dating advice, like how to ask someone on a date, where to go, and how
to be courteous without being creepy.
“This year we decided to tackle fewer how-tos and more encouragement to
get over dating hang-ups” La Ruffa said.
This year’s encouragement came in the form of bright red posters
featuring the campaign hashtag, #bringdatingback, and cartoons
demonstrating how dating “isn’t that complicated” or “that
old-fashioned.”
“I loved the idea of promoting healthy dating on campus through
posters,” Laura Wittmann, a senior at Ave Maria University, told The
Daily Signal in an email. “The posters spark conversations that might
not be happening anyways, and I hope that they inspire students to ask
each other out.”
The current president of Princeton University’s Anscombe Society,
Thomas Clark, notes that the campaign encourages young men and women
while they combat the hookup culture.
“Often we hear news about bad relationships on campus,” Clark told The
Daily Signal, referencing recent Princeton University sexual assault
reports. “There’s lots of bad news, but there’s plenty of action to be
taken as well. There is still good news.”
James Lopez, a full-time worker and graduate student at Biola
University, notes that the Bring Dating Back campaign’s flower giveaway
has brought happiness to his campus.
“We see a lot of happy faces and a lot of smiles,” he told The Daily
Signal. “A lot of people find the courage to give a girl a flower.”
“On Sunday we pass out candy with a note saying, ‘Don’t be just a
night, you’re worth a lifetime,’” Nate Eggleston, a junior at the
University of Pittsburgh, told The Daily Signal.
“Last year we used up two big boxes of candy in half an hour,” he
added. “We made a lot of people’s day.”
Eggleston says the campaign addresses a very real fear of dating among
students.
“I tell people it’s hard, you are going to mess up, but it won’t be as
embarrassing as you imagine it to be,” he said.
Eggleston survived the perils of dating and is now engaged to an
engineering major at Carnegie Mellon University.
Eleanor Debreu, a senior and music major at Columbia University, told
The Daily Signal that time commitment is also a dating deterrent.
“Columbia students are always busy. We think in terms of time. You want
to do things that are worth your time. Do you have time for a casual
date?” she said.
“My answer is, go for it. You can get to know someone and not have to
get romantically involved,” she said. “It makes us human, having these
conversations and getting to know each other.”
Though the campaign is too new to boast statistical results, students
hope that it helps others think seriously about how they approach
relationships.
“I haven’t seen the effects yet,” Debreu said. “But I think it’s
helping in a subtle way. It makes people think about how they approach
things and how they think about dating.”
Read this and other articles at The Daily Signal
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