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The
views expressed
on this page are soley those of the author and do not
necessarily
represent the views of County News Online
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Thoughts by
'Ducky'
From a CNO Reader
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. So I said
'Implants?'
She hit me.
How come we choose from just two people to run for president
and over fifty for Miss America ?
Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own
pants.
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting
clothing.
If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the
first place!
When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping.'
Now I just 'chunky dunk.'
Don't argue with an idiot;
people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply
press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN!
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can
in prison?
A completely brilliant question!
Wouldn't you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go,
But FAT cells live forever.
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court
when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Another completely brilliant question!
Bumper sticker of the year: 'If you can read this, thank a teacher –
and since it's in English, thank a soldier'
And remember:
Life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
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