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Daily Signal
How to Win
Friends and Influence People (on Social Media)
Beverly Hallberg
February 09, 2017
Everyone has an opinion and they’re not afraid to share it, which is
both the beauty and tragedy of the internet—it allows great access to
information, but also erects a barrier to civility.
Though your name and likeness may be attached, you can hide behind
whatever profile you’ve created for yourself. In the words of
everyone’s mothers, “You can be whatever you want to be.”
On most days, this is just fine. But since the election, it’s caused
some heartburn.
My idea of a good time is not logging on to Facebook to see that my
family and friends have very strong opinions the exact opposite of mine.
Do I passive-aggressively challenge them by posting articles in direct
opposition to theirs? Do I comment on whatever article they’ve posted
to challenge their opinion? Or do I just back away and silently form
judgments of their character?
The tendency to disengage is strong, but for the sake of our
relationships, we can’t. So the question is, how do we remain good
stewards of our social media profiles and defend our principles?
Here are a few rules of engagement.
Timing Matters
Pretty sure everyone knows it’s best to leave internet trolls alone.
The debate will be over before it begins, so don’t waste your energy.
However, if you know this person, the first thing to consider is
whether the debate will be productive. And by productive, I mean, will
the person on the other side listen and vice versa?
You may debate someone and end up declaring that you’ll agree to
disagree. This is not a lost cause. Of course the goal is always to
persuade someone to agree with you, but you can count it a win if you
civilly debate an issue and no one budges.
Keep it civil and I guarantee the level of respect that you each have
for each other will be greater.
Tone Is Everything
Text is tone deaf. It’s hard to decipher someone’s motive when you
can’t see/hear the person delivering the message. Plus, we often think
the best of our intentions, but the worst of others’.
If this is a person you know and/or love, then call them or sit down
face-to-face. There’s no reason to start World War III via Facebook
because they posted an incendiary article.
Assume they mean well (easier said than done, I get it) and politely
ask them to explain or consider the issue from your perspective. But
again, do this in person.
Another danger to challenging someone on social media is the peanut
gallery.
Unless you directly message someone, you risk allowing a friend of a
friend of a friend to hijack the public conversation. If you truly want
to hear someone out and present your case, you have to pick up the
phone or pick up the tab.
Set the Example
The Golden Rule absolutely extends to social media, so it’s time to
self-evaluate.
Are your posts accusatory or demeaning? Or do you show the same
kindness you hope for in return? Because our political beliefs are
personal, it’s difficult to isolate the issue from the issuer.
It can also be hard not to engage in the same way you see others
engaging on social media—loud and proud and leaving no
survivors—especially when you think they’re wrong and you’re right.
However, if we realize that everyone has an opinion or two in life that
might turn out to be wrong, we can extend grace to others who might be
in the wrong right now.
Keep this about policy and not the person advocating the policy, and be
the change you want to see on the interwebs.
Read this and other articles at The Daily Signal
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