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Great Darke County Fair
Old Man Hits Chickens
and Hits it Big ! !
Greenville OH - Just this past week local oldster/prankster Granpa
Cratchet lost control, again, of his old truck coming down Big Haller
Road. Those first on the scene thought the big landing had occurred and
space aliens were taking over. What first appeared to be little white
fluffy tuffs were seen falling out of the sky. An out of control
vehicle of some unusual form had been seen streaking across the county
just minutes earlier, all prompting calls to the local Sheriff’s
office. However, closer examination proved the white tuffs to be
feathers. With no proof of aliens local members of the Sharpsville
Chapter of BARF (Bi-Planetary Alien Research Forum), who were first on
the scene, promptly dismissed the incident to swamp gas and adjourned
to the General Store in downtown Sharpsville for further discussion on
the impact of feathers on the average bi-planetary alien researcher.
With the arrival of the Sheriff and the settling of all the dust and
commotion it was discovered to be nothing more than Granpa Cratchet
gone out of control again in his old truck, this time landing smack dab
in the middle of Granma’s chicken coop. The local mortician, also
the county coroner, arrived and pronounced the supposed alien beings as
chickens, who were now simply too squashed up to recognize as anything
from planet Earth.
Granpa claims his brakes went out, but most folks around here think his
eyesight is what’s really out. When they finally got Granpa out of the
chicken feeder he was lodged in they thought he had suffered trauma to
the head, but it turns out he was just muttering about what was going
to happen to him when Granma (his mother) found out he ran over all her
chickens. He says, as a direct answer to prayer for deliverance (from
Granma), he got an inspiration from Heaven and decided to open a new
restaurant featuring various assorted chicken plates. Granpa has
already set a promotional campaign in motion with a new slogan,
“Chicken is always more tender when scrapped from a fender” or “Chicken
tastes real good right off a truck hood.” He can’t decide which.
In any case, the whole family will have tons of fun and lots of laughs
as the kids learn the importance of working together. You can visit
Granpa anytime at his home on the web at www.oldcoot.com. You can see
him live when Granpa, Granma and Cousin Clem have the grand opening of
their new Chicken Coop and Road Side Café during the 159th Great Darke
County Fair that runs August 21-29, 2015.
It’s all free and sure to be as big a smash hit as the accident itself.
Come and watch as Clem demonstrates his new hydro-powered atomic
chicken cooker. Granma, who can’t hear too well and can see even less,
will be waiting on tables while Granpa tries to catch the few remaining
live chickens.
It’s all a barrel of laughs with Granpa Cratchet who appears all around
the county in more than two thousand shows a year and has been
spotlighted on Good Morning America, Entertainment Tonight and many
other national, regional and local TV shows. It’s all free and part of
the great entertainment lineup at The Great Darke County Fair.
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