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“Verity
- the quality or state of being true or real; Balderdash – nonsense.”
Miriam-Webster Online Dictionary
Truisms
Verities & Balderdash
By Bob Robinson
Here are a few truisms for your Saturday. They may make you smile…
maybe they’ll even make you think.
Prison - You spend most of your time in a 10 x 10 cell
Work - You spend most of your time in a 6 x 6 cubicle
Prison - You get three fully paid meals a day
Work - You get a break for one meal, and you have to pay for it
Prison - For good behavior you get time off
Work - For good behavior you get more work
Prison - The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you
Work - You must carry a security card and open all the doors yourself
Prison - You can watch TV and play games
Work - You could get fired for watching TV and playing games
Prison - You get your own toilet
Work - You have to share the toilet with people who pee on the seat
Prison - They allow your family and friends to visit
Work - You aren’t even supposed to speak to your family
Prison – Taxpayers pay all your expenses with no work required on your
part
Work - You must pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct
taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners
Prison - You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out
Work - You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars
Prison - You must deal with sadistic wardens and guards
Work - They are called ‘managers’
Is there something wrong with that picture?
How to stay safe in the
world today
1. Avoid riding in automobiles because they are responsible for 20% of
all fatal accidents.
2. Do not stay home because 17% of all accidents occur in the home.
3. Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks because 14% of all accidents
occur to pedestrians.
4. Avoid traveling by air, rail, or water because 16% of all accidents
involve these forms of transportation.
5. Of the remaining 33%, 32% of all deaths occur in hospitals. So above
all else, avoid hospitals.
But... you will be pleased to learn that only .001% of all deaths occur
in worship services in church, and these are usually related to
previous physical disorders. Therefore, logic tells us that the safest
place for you to be at any given point in time is at church!
And Bible study is safe too. The percentage of deaths during Bible
study is even less.
So, attend church and read your Bible... it could save your life!
Today is International
Disturbed People’s Day
Please send an encouraging message to a disturbed friend... just as I’m
doing.
I don’t care if you lick windows, take the special bus or occasionally
pee on yourself. Hang in there sunshine, you’re special.
Every 60 seconds you spend angry, upset or mad, is a full minute of
happiness you’ll never get back.
Today’s Message of the Day is: Life is short. Break the rules. Forgive
quickly. Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably. And never
regret anything that made you smile.
Heaven & Hell
A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said,
‘Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.’
The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and
the holy man looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round
table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which
smelled delicious and made the holy man’s mouth water.
The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared
to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that
were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into
the pot of stew and take a spoonful. But because the handle was longer
than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.
The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. The
Lord said, ‘You have seen Hell.’
They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same
as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of
stew which made the holy man’s mouth water. The people were equipped
with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well
nourished and plump, laughing and talking.
The holy man said, ‘I don’t understand.’
‘It is simple,’ said the Lord. ‘It requires but one skill. You see,
they have learned to feed each other. The greedy think only of
themselves.’
When Jesus died on the cross, He was thinking of you. I will always
share my spoon with you.
Remember, verities should be thought provoking; balderdash is nonsense.
See you next time.
Bob Robinson is the
retired editor of The Daily Advocate, Greenville, Ohio. If you wish to
receive a daily notification comments, opinions and reports from County
News Online, send your email address to: countynewsonline@gmail.com. Feel free to express your views.
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