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Family
Events...
Technology creates
new risks for kids,
families
By Marybeth Hicks
7/29/11
For the past
two weeks, my email box
has been filled with notices that someone else has added me to their
Google+
social network. I joined Google+ when my eldest daughter sent me an
invitation,
but I confess I haven’t been back on the site since then because...
well... I
have no clue what to do with it.
It took me a
while to figure out
Facebook and Twitter, so I’m not sure I’m ready for yet another site to
juggle
conversations, updates, friend requests, and now “circles” of friend
requests.
It’s possible I’ve maxed out on my technology-based relationships!
Unfortunately,
simply declaring
“enough” with new technology is not an option for we parents — at
least, not if
we’re taking our jobs seriously. For example, while Google+ may seem
superfluous and unnecessary, our teens may be attracted to it for an
important
reason — it allows users to have various circles of family, friends,
co-workers, etc., and each circle sees only what the user wants them to
see.
That means
your child could be sharing
perfectly wholesome posts and pictures with the family circle, but
conveying
quite a different image to his or her friends.
Facebook
already allows users to block
some friends from seeing photos, and kids routinely form secret
Facebook groups
where they let their proverbial hair down in ways their parents may not
imagine
(think language, lewd photos, secret social plans, etc).
The fact is,
even if you’re online and
using social networking sites alongside your children, it’s easy for
them to
hide things from you. (See the news articles below for some solid
information).
Keep tabs on
tech savvy teens
To be clear,
kids have been hiding
their misbehavior from their parents for as long as there have been
bathrooms
in which to smoke cigarettes and brown paper sacks to hide six packs of
beer.
But we know
that today’s technology
has upped the stakes for our teens. It’s much easier for them to make
plans,
get away with poor decisions, and hide their actions thanks to a full
range of
devices and tools to cover their tracks. This means it’s harder for
parents to
stay involved and engaged with kids, and more difficult to help teens
navigate
their way toward better behavior.
Short of
pulling the plug on the
technology in your world (as if this would be easy!), there are things
you can
do. First, you’re a parent, so when you spend an hour or two a week
reading
your teen’s social networking sites, it’s not called “stalking,” it’s
called
“parenting.”
If you’re
concerned about what you see
(or if you think the sites are just unrealistically squeaky clean),
think about
investing in some software to help you track your teen’s activity
online. Kids’
right to privacy extends only to your reasonable assessment of their
safety and
well being. If you think you have reason to worry, you have reason to
monitor
them as you see fit.
Usually when I
write about this issue,
I hear from a few parents who accuse me of “not trusting teenagers.” My
strategy on this is, “Trust but verify!” Our kids need to know we’re
keeping an
eye on them, especially when they think we can’t see what they’re up to.
Thanks for
reading and sharing Family
Events!
Take good care
until next week,
Marybeth
This week’s
question: Do you think
teens have a right to privacy online or does your responsibility as a
parent
include monitoring their activities in social networking sites? Share
your
insights on our Family Events Facebook page.
Read story and
answers to last week’s
question at Family Events
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