Broke Wife, Big City
Wondering
Woman
By Aprill Brandon
Jingle bells, Batman
smells, Robin laid an egg... something,
something, something else, the Comic Con is here!
Or, you know, whatever.
I'm no poet.
The point is, it's the
CON! Yes, as a junior Trekkie and
Star Warrior who grew up to be a card-carrying Browncoat with a dog
named Buffy
and a husband who makes the fellas from "Big Bang Theory" look like
total comic book noobz, it truly 'tis the most magical time of the year
for
this gal.
See, now that I live in
the big city, I get to do cool nerdy
stuff like this. Except, well, unfortunately, this year I won't be able
to go
due to some unforeseen circumstances (1. I'm pregnant and as such, I
should not
be around big groups of people...mainly for their own protection and 2.
I'm
super broke...and yes, OK, that part was a little foreseen...although I
think
it's a LITTLE excessive that rent is due every single MONTH). But that
doesn't
change the fact that this event inevitably brings up the age-old
question for
fellow nerds such as myself:
If you were going to the
Comic Con, who would you dress up
as?
Now this should be an
easy question. In fact, if it's hard
to answer it's only because there are too many options.
Except...except I can't
help but feel that over the past
decade or so, a disconcerning number of the iconic female characters I
used to
worship have become tainted. And, trust me, I hate to be "this" girl,
but let's face it, it's all Hollywood's fault.
I mean, who could forget
how Halle Berry almost
single-handedly destroyed Catwoman?
(I'll give you all a
moment to shudder as you remember...)
And as if that wasn't bad
enough, Anne Hathaway then came in
a few years later and kicked what remaining life was in the character
to death,
all the while smiling her stupid horse teeth smile.
And apparently now that
Halle had a taste for blood, she
then promptly returned to the screen to make us all hate Storm from the
X-Men.
ScarJo turned Black Widow
into walking leather-clad boobs.
Every Lois Lane has been Lois Lame (word play!). Elektra? I still have
nightmares about that movie. Seriously. It was my 'Nam. And while I
didn't
actually have a problem with how Gwyneth Paltrow played Pepper Potts, I
also
can't seperate the actress from the character, which made me
involuntarily
think Pepper was an uppity brat I'd pay to slap.
Even the few female
villians these days lack personality.
What's-Her-Name from the last Batman movie? Yeah. Can't even remember
her name.
But I sure know who Bain is. Why? The dude had chutzpah.
And while they haven't
yet destroyed Wonder Woman, don't
worry. They will. Oh, how they will.
Then again, maybe I'm
just spoiled from growing up in the
80's and 90's. I had Princess Leia. And Buffy. And Xena. And a decent
Catwoman
thanks to Michelle Pfeiffer. And Aeon Flux the cartoon. And later on
the women
from "Firefly" and Olivia from "Fringe."
So maybe it's just hard
for me to respect a hot-looking
woman wearing pornographically skin-tight leather whose sole job is to
be an
accessory to some guy in a cape. Or an expressionless girl in love with
a
vampire whose only super power is her moping ability (albeit an
unpararrelled
moping ability). Or actresses who think the most important aspect of
their
character is going on some chicken and rice diet prior to filming
(which they
make sure to mention in every single magazine interview).
At least all is not lost.
"True Blood" and
"Game of Thrones" both have some worthy "stab them with the
pointy end" feminist heroes. Little girls today grew up with Hermione
and
Jenny, neither of whom took a backseat to Harry. And Hit Girl hits the
nail on
the head when she says in the "Kick Ass 2" preview: "Pffft...Robin
wishes he was me."
So maybe the tide is
turning.
Then again, I did hear
that they are considering casting
Megan Fox as Wonder Woman. So maybe I'll just keep cocooning myself in
the
Whedonverse via Netflix until Hollywood gets the message that female
heroes
(and even the villians) deserve the same respect as their male
counterparts.
Can’t get enough of
Aprill? Can’t wait until next week?
Check out her website at http://aprillbrandon.com/
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