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From the Other Side of the Edge….
Global Laugh-ing…..
By Joe Facinoli
While the earth’s climate may, or may not be warming up, either
permanently or as part of a cycle, there is one very specific, and
equally important thing that is most definitely changing,
worldwide.
And that would be the political perception of the once all-powerful
United States of America.
There may, in fact, be some sort of global warming going on, but for
certain, there is also a non-stop global laughing taking place, as
well.
And the planet is laughing AT us, now, not WITH us.
The world’s “street boss” is gone, or at least gone into deep hiding,
so let the knee slapping, head back guffawing, and finger pointed
snickering begin. And then unfortunately, …..be allowed to
continue.
Erma Bombeck once said, that: “There is a thin line that
separates laughter and pain.” You got it right girl,
but it’s their laughter, and our pain.
Walt Disney once proudly proclaimed that: “Laughter is
America’s most important export.” Little did we know
just how right good ol’ Uncle Walt would be, even though what’s
happening to us now, is not what he meant.
It started when the man who was elected to be the Leader of the Free
World, and of the most powerful nation or entity ever to populate this
orbiting sphere, felt the immediate need to do a full-on, head down bow
of obedience and servitude, before the ruler of nothing more than a
large pile of sand, which happens to cover a few billion gallons of
oil, which we already pay him for, oh by the way.
And it went on from there, with appeasement and deference, and
softballing all situations, and all the half way measures, daring not
to offend anyone, dear God, and the endless and perpetual extended
negotiations everywhere, and those dreaded sanctions (which never
included a blockade of any kind, directly contrary to “Isolating Your
Enemy—101”, especially when you have the power and strength to do so),
and on and on, until today, when we’re stuck with stand-up Comedy
Central.
Let’s go through the roll call, but first, we simply must begin with
the current adventures (and nose thumbing) of that dangerous and
deadly, international fugitive and master criminal, NSA leaker, Edward
Snowden.
Forget whether he was right or wrong, and whether he should be hailed
as a brave and gallant whistleblower, or sent to prison with sharks and
fire ants for life, let’s take a look at what the countries where he is
trying to hide have done, with the oh so polite, and grammatically
correct requests for his return, emanating from that wannabe, and used
to be, powerful U.S. Department of State.
Hong Kong and China? Still laughing, uncontrollably, days
now after letting him just get on a plane and leave, despite the
mortified disapproval and indignation of the big man at State, Sec.
John Kerry (has there ever been a more boring public speaker than
Kerry? Or anyone who ever spoke in more of a
monotone? Makes Jimmy Carter sound like FDR or JFK.
And doesn’t exactly command respect, nor demand to be paid attention
to.)
This comes under the category of: Pay backs are hell, or,
what goes around comes around. (random Chinese
leader): “So, you want to spy on us, and hack our computer
networks, and bad mouth us for political gain, even though we bail you
out constantly? Ok then, ….no problem. But we
don’t know any Edward Snowden, and wouldn’t, even if we saw his face
plastered all over the news, 24/7.“
Ecuador and Cuba? “Come on down, Eddie boy!!
We’d love to have ya, nuestro Amigo favorito!! No worries
for us, what’s that big bad bully up there to the north ever going to
do to us? Besides, we act much too quickly for them.
They take days and weeks to make any decisions of importance, after
checking all potential ramifications, and incoming weather reports, for
any sign of political trouble. You’re in big boy, anything
you want!”
Russia? “We never saw him, and don’t even think he’s
even in our country. Oh yeah, …..he’s at the
airport. But that doesn’t count, because he still hasn’t
gone to baggage claim, and you know how long that can take.
If he ever does clear through, though, we’ll call you.
Promise. No really, double dog, pinky swear promise!”
These are the most recent examples, but hardly the only ones, over the
past 5+ years, to have other, much lessor, countries laughing at us
freely, and worse, simply ignoring us (while laughing at us
freely).
Okay now, fellow nations of the world, raise your hands quickly, and
give us your best “U.S.A. as the butt of some foolishness, or joke”
when we call your name:
--Iran: “We don’t have any nuclear
weapons. Swear. No really, double dog……oh, you know
the rest. Human rights? Call us when you get your
welfare state problem, which promotes permanent poverty for millions,
under control.”
--North Korea: “Yeah, we got nukes, and
missiles too, and what you gonna do about it, son???!!! “
(with tongue sticking out, and middle finger extended)
--Israel: “You want us to do
what?? Do you know ANYTHING about the history of this
region??? Do you even OWN a map, more recent than
1967? Even the Palestinians don’t like you now, nor trust
you!”
--Venezuela: “You don’t want our
oil,….and you don’t like us? So what? We’ll
just change the name of our gas stations, and then sell all our black
gold to China (you know them, right?). You hurt our
feelings soooo bad, you big meanie! “
--Mexico:
“Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! OMG! I just can’t
stop laughing!!! Let me get this straight:
you’re going to give us thousands of AK’s, and other hard to get
weapons, and then we’re supposed to give them to all the drug lords,
and then give you all their names and addresses, once they get all the
guns??? Hahahahahaha!!! Oh my God, please,
you’ve got to stop now, my sides and cheeks are killing me, from
laughing so much. You actually think there’s a difference
between the government, and the drug cartels????
Hahahahaha!!! Stop it, ….no please, you gotta
stop!! Hahahaha!!”
--Pakistan: “For being so stupid as to think
that there was a difference between the government and Al Qaeda (sound
familiar??), and for thinking you could just waltz right in here, and
take someone out (even if he was the most wanted man in the universe),
never say a word to us about it, and then not pay any
consequences? Just wait.”
--Afghanistan: “You are the most naïve people
on earth, to not have any idea just how completely tribal this country
is, and that Hell will freeze over, twice, before democracy ever
happens here. “
--Syria: “The latest, and most stupidly naïve
(in other words, you obviously will never learn anything, even though
you just played the same games in Iraq and Afghanistan).
We’re going to do whatever we want here, and whatever WE think is
right, ….especially since we know for sure that you won’t.
Well,…..that was interesting. Thank you class.
Hopefully, your regular teacher, the one with wisdom and experience, a
little common sense, and some intestinal fortitude, will be returning
soon, whoever that might be. Then we’ll just see how much
laughing and acting a fool goes on around here! Won’t
we?!?!
(Sorry, had to interject a bit of wishful thinking, for the keeping of
one’s sanity.)
“And the Little Prince broke into a lovely peal of laughter, which
irritated me very much. I like my misfortunes to be taken
seriously.” --- Antoine de Saint Exupery
You can just see Little Barry (our very own, modern day, but spoiled
Little Prince) stomping his feet, crossing his arms, making a sour
face, and marching around in arrogant frustration, can’t
you?
And then blaming someone else. Uh,….make that
everyone else.
Joe Facinoli
(Joe can be reached at: joefacinoli@gmail.com )
Intelligent Response Encouraged !!
© Copyright 2013, Joe Facinoli
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