From the Other Side of the Edge…..
The Real ‘Best and Brightest’, ….from Street Level
By Joe Facinoli

Experience is the best teacher.

It gives us affirmation, …and confirmation.

I learned this, …again, on a recent walkabout amongst the “beautiful people”, in and around one of the most famous neighborhoods in our Nation’s Capital.

Its official name is “Foggy Bottom”, which sounds like a meteorologist and a geologist couldn’t decide what to call it, …but it houses a “great” university, perhaps a dozen high level government agencies and departments, and is surrounded by some of the most well known neighbors, one still fairly in-famous, any inner-city community could ever want.

Bounded by Pennsylvania Avenue on the north (you’ve heard of that little lane, yes?), Constitution Avenue and the National Mall on the south (not entirely unheard of, either), the Potomac River on the west (perhaps the source of that fog?), and a modest little residence on the east, one which tends to get more attention than its simple name would seem to warrant, …The White House.

The State Department, World Bank and IMF, the Federal Reserve, the Dept. of the Interior, the General Services Administration, the Federal Government’s H.R. Dept., and the George Washington University and its GWU Hospital, all call this very classy section of town their home, with a few well priced, and “tony” residences sprinkled in between all the giants of government and education.

The Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts is here, and a long fly ball away from it stands the Watergate Hotel and Office Complex, which even the most “history challenged” citizens still remember. Georgetown, with its own history, university, and hospital, is about 10 or 15 blocks northwest.

In other words, this ain’t exactly Cabrini Green, Bed-Stuy, nor any place in Detroit.

Some of the smartest, best educated, most privileged, socially advantaged, and well placed people in the world, walk these streets.

On these always bustling blocks, filled with foot travelers all day long, they work, go to school, or live right here, next to all this history and power.

So,….one would think, that he might be able to get some basic directions, to a local store, right in the middle of this fine area,….wouldn’t one ????

Not so fast, …there,….GPS lips.

One could die of thirst, a hundred feet from a water tower, waiting for directions to it from THIS bunch !!

One could freeze to death, a block from a Parka factory, or pass out from an abscessed bicuspid, while just down the street from a dentist’s office, if one were to depend on this group to get them there.

I got to “experience” this surprising ineptitude, and counter intuitive performance, just the other day, out of random need for a specific product.

The company which I own and run provides commercial cleaning services of a very specific nature. We do post construction cleanups, after all the building mess is finished, and clean and maintain student housing complexes, near several universities in our area.

On one such construction site, early last week, we found the need for some window cleaning liquid (Windex, to the non-professionals), and asap.

Although this project is located in the extraordinarily historic, and actually quite beautiful area described above, it is nowhere near any supply houses, nor even grocery stores, other than the occasional very small corner market, and such.

But I remembered seeing a Whole Foods store somewhere nearby, even though I was not precisely sure on which street. North,….or south?? Uptown a bit, and over, …or on the other side of the hospital ?

Didn’t matter, I thought, how hard could a store like that be to find? So I confidently headed out, on foot, to make our purchase.

I got about two blocks away from the large building we were working in (a 9 story edition to the GWU School of Medicine), when I realized that the way I had chosen to go (north was my first guess), was not getting me anywhere close to my destination.

Out came the Smart/Stupid phone, to press Google quickly into action.

But no go. The sun was too bright and glaring to read the map on the screen, and too much background noise to talk into it (I personally think they were taking the afternoon off, in there, but what do I know?).

So, I went the old fashioned way,…..I asked for directions.

And who knew just how revealing of our culture this simple act would be.

How telling it would be, about the future of our great nation, and the people who run it now, or who will run it soon. All based on who inhabits this special area of DC, nearly unique in all the world, and their cumulative responses.

I approached nearly a dozen people that day, in different spots and situations, and never really did get exact directions from any of these folks.

All were friendly, and trying to be helpful, but none were, more than a small bit, and almost all were unintelligible, in all practicality.

I got stuff like: “Oh yeah, I know that store, it’s over there,….on the OTHER side of the circle”, while waving their hand in the general direction of “over there”.

The problem with that one was, that there are exactly SEVEN different streets (I counted them) which enter onto dear old Washington Circle, in the north end of Foggy Bottom, and four of them are on the side that was … “over there”.

“Do you mean,….23rd street, by chance, or 22nd?”, was my next question, to which my newfound “Road Atlas” genius replied: “Yeah, over there, by that shiny building.”

Could have been helpful, had not EVERY SINGLE BUILDING, on that very side of the circle, been made of all glass, and which were indeed, all quite shiny that day!

I gave up, …after trying one more time to get a street name or number, with no more success than before, but did ask where they were from (this guy and gal, in their mid-20s), thinking they may have been from out of town, given their inability to direct me anywhere!

But I found that they worked only two blocks away, in the general vicinity of “over there”, and also lived nearby. Remarkable, how living in a vacuum, can be so enlightening.

I told them that I needed to be going,… “over there” (somewhere).

Two or three similar encounters got me closer to my goal, with some wrong turns and missteps included in the journey, with no one “blowing me off”, nor feigning to be from out of town, nor even unfamiliar with the area.

All tried their best, but just couldn’t articulate how to get to the place they recognized immediately, upon my query.

It was painful, and frustrating, to watch and to listen, but also incredibly interesting and confounding, how so many “academically” intelligent people, could barely function in such a basic way, especially since they were trying to be so cooperative, with some fairly diving into my problem, with genuine concern and effort.

Remarkable. Words fail to describe, what my eyes and ears could not believe.

Finally, on a street that turned out to be only one or two away from the store I sought, a very professorial and mature looking woman, who surely must have taught at GW University, instead gave me her best impression of Dr. Irwin Corey (“the world’s foremost authority”), filled with all the same gibberish and syntax destruction, for which the good doctor (still alive, btw) is famous.

Truly incredible.

Somehow, after more: “just down the streets”, and “right down theres”, and a few “just around the corners”, and one final (and now maddening) “it’s right over that way”, I found my store, and stumbled in.

Total distance traveled was probably fifteen blocks, to get to a store only 5 blocks away, and time spent was maybe 25 to 30 minutes.

But I got there, and that’s all that mattered.

And with no real help (thank you very much), in fact quite the contrary, from the people in an area where the “Best and the Brightest” populate, move about freely, minister to the sick, and manage and direct those seeking help, respite, and solace, from all around our country, ….and the world.

Makes one think quickly about a “second opinion”, and thinking twice, …in the voting booth.

By the way, Whole Foods doesn’t carry Windex, …nor any window cleaner. Not “green” enough.

Remarkable.

Joe Facinoli

--Joe can be reached at: joefacinoli@gmail.com
Intelligent Response Encouraged !!

© Copyright 2014, Joe Facinoli