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Thank you for
the humor
By Susan Olling
Will (you can fill in the blank) matter in five years? With
sports, things don’t matter in six months. Even though my
undergraduate degree is from Buckeye Nut U., what Mr. History calls
that enormous state university in Columbus, Ohio, that doesn’t mean
that I mindlessly follow its sports teams, or any others, with
shameless loyalty. There’s room for sports. However, like
other things, in moderation. When people take sports too
seriously, it’s pretty funny. Sports have provided lots of humor
in this part of MoCo lately.
Ah, the continuing soap opera of “Deflategate” (what an insult to
Watergate, a true crime). Thanks to Saturday Night Live for
its creative parody of the quarterback at the center of this little
comedy. In future, perhaps the officials should supervise
the footballs.
Is there/will there be a quarterback controversy in Columbus?
Does it really matter? By the way, this alumna wants to thank the
athletic office for the annual invitation to participate in the
football ticket lottery. I laughed all the way to the paper
shredder. Let’s see, the last time I went to a game back there
was, when, 1991? Oh yes, the weekend of the Alumni Leadership
Conference. I couldn’t even tell you who the coach was.
Given what’s been done in the name of increasing the number of
posteriors in the stands of what was once a beautiful stadium, I can
find other things to do.
Recently, a memorable choke came from the local NHL team and not
because of a collective hair ball. The hockey guys historically
win in the first round of the playoffs but find a way to lose in the
second. Capitals fans were ecstatic after the first round of
playoffs against the New York Islanders. Red flags here: the
local bunch was ahead three games to two. It took two more games for
them to win and move on to the second round. The fans were ready
to party after the Capitals had a three games to one advantage over the
New York Rangers. It should have been a lock. The Rangers
tied the series. Then, they won game seven on their
ice. As Mr. History always reminds me, when a local pro
sports team is doing well, just wait; it’s a D.C. team.
The local NBA franchise got to the second round of their playoffs more
convincingly. Unfortunately, they lost in the second round.
Let’s see, the last (and only) time the Wizards won an NBA championship
was in 1978 when they were known as the Washington Bullets
(transplanted from Baltimore).
Both of these teams play at the Verizon Center in D.C., also called The
Phone Booth by some of the local sports talking heads. Heard once
it’s original, I guess. After that, though, you have to roll your
eyes. How many kids even know what a phone booth is?
Finally, the local NFL franchise. The owner refuses, in no
uncertain terms, to change the team name. Well, it is his team
after all. In 2014, half of members of the U.S. Senate sent a
letter to the NFL commissioner calling for a name change. Yes,
the elected ones at work. More recently, the Senate Minority
Leader (wow, last year this time, he was the Majority Leader) thundered
from the Senate floor that the NFL spent too much time on “Deflategate”
and not enough time trying to get the local NFL franchise’s name
changed. A new stadium appears to be in the works.
The governor of Virginia is lobbying hard for this sports palace to be
built in Loudoun County, Virginia a mere 36 miles from D.C. (seems like
a longer distance when you’re driving). The team’s headquarters
are already there, and they moved training camp to Richmond, just 150
miles down the I-95 parking lot (and, yes, people make the trek down
there just to watch the festivities). To give this team credit,
though, there’s been little commenting about getting to the Super Bowl.
The local Major League Baseball franchise is pretty much ignored.
Yawn.
To sports teams all, thank you for the humor; and let it continue.
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