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Salute to
Military
By Christina Chalmers
Each May, we take time as a country to celebrate our veterans, lifting
them up for all the sacrifices they have made for the freedoms we have.
And doing so is the good and right thing. We wouldn’t be the country we
are without them.
But this weekend, as we mark Memorial Day by saying thank you to our
veterans, there’s another group whose sacrifice, service and love of
this country needs to be honored as well: the loved ones who are left
behind to support them. Military family members—spouses, children,
parents—serve their country, too, but in ways that are all too often
overlooked.
Throughout a deployment, military families sacrifice every day to
support their soldiers. This is particularly true for the spouses. I
know. I am one.
Having your spouse on deployment feels like an endless journey, and you
only want the basics that others often take for granted in day-to-day
life—to see, hug and kiss your spouse and know that they are okay.
Instead, we are alone. We must be brave and self-sufficient. We must be
resilient, passionate and strong—even under extraordinary
circumstances. We must rely on support from family members, friends,
other military spouses and the community.
But, while we may look like we have it all together, the truth is often
we’re just barely hanging on. It’s a difficult task to remain strong
throughout the high stress of a deployment, laughing things off and
trying to make the best of everything. It seems that we are always “at
our limit” with no sleep and through tears worrying about our soldier’s
well-being, taking care of our homes, children and ourselves.
For those military spouses with children, deployment immediately makes
you a single parent, even though you’re technically not. And that’s
difficult on everyone. Our soldiers miss a lot in their kid’s lives.
They miss first steps, first words, school events, sports games and
tucking them in each night. And military kids are strong, brave and
adaptable, but their feelings of abandonment are real and cause anxiety
and insecurities.
I read something that said that military children will say goodbye to
more significant people by age 18 than the average person will know in
their lifetimes. That’s true; it’s hard for them. These kids deal with
a range of emotions through deployment and reunification: fear,
regression, irritability, aggression, rebellion, and physical
complaints all depending on their age. All while trying to maintain
their daily routines and going to school.
Being a military mom or dad is just as difficult. Parents relish in the
proud moments of their children’s lives—hitting that first baseball,
riding their first bike, going to their first dance, learning to drive
a car, graduating high school or college. When they hear the words,
“Mom, Dad, I’m joining the military,” fear flashes through their minds,
followed by intense worry. Loneliness and heartache are sure to follow.
But knowing their son or daughter has just chosen honor, code and
country couldn’t make them more proud. Their child has said to America,
“I’ve got your back. I’ll serve our country so that you may enjoy
freedom.”
So this weekend, as we celebrate the tremendous pride our soldiers and
veterans, take a moment to remember their families, who sacrificed as
well. The military spouse is proud to stand by their soldier no matter
how long, and would do it again and again, but their endless dedication
and loyalty should be commended. If you know a military kid, give them
a great big hug and thank them. Let them know it’s going to be okay and
that you’re there for them through good times and bad. Their service
deserves to be recognized.
Christina Chalmers is now the wife of a Veteran and a Board Member of
the American Red Cross Northern Miami Valley Ohio who recently held a
concert in celebration of the Military and their Families. This
is an excerpt from her presentation about life as a Military Family
member. If you would like the complete document, please contact
us.
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