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Answering Life’s Biggest Questions
Throw in the
towel and dump the homework
By Abigail Fischer and Katie DeLand
Dear A+K;
Is April too early too give up on caring about school? I am
completely burned out on all things homework, projects and
extracurricular. Please tell me this is okay.
Sincerely,
Schooled Out
Dear Schooled:
In fear of enraging every school teacher out there, we will play it
cool and tell you to stick it out until the very last bell. But
reallyyyyyy.....
Throw in the towel! Toss it high! Burn it and do a crazy
summer dance around its ashes. Once the first crocus emerged and
we spotted the first robin, our homework cares disappeared.
Activity logs? A science project? Mandatory reading?
Half-hearted at best. After all, spring has sprung! This
really only translates into one thing: our kids can go outside!
Hallelujah.
In September, we had our structure. We had our rules. We
had incentives, charts and high praise. Our kids knew that once
the school bus dumped them off at our driveway, they were to come in
like obedient soldiers, dig out the day's math facts and come to us for
a signature. Fast forward to late April when we literally ban our
kids from entering the front door. We relish in the sound of
freedom/fighting streaming through the open window.
Now, we are't going to be ridiculous about this shirking of duty.
Summer school sounds as traumatizing to us as it does to them, mainly
because it would involve buckling up siblings twice a day in
June. Spelling words are still practiced, but we simply just
can't care about the forgotten "ph" in "symphony." And three
rounds of popcorn word practice just aint' happening. With this
newfound spirit, the family accord has never been happier. Our
kids look at us like we have nine eyes when we say things like, "Nah-
no need for flashcards right now. Go out and wreck your scooter!"
and our husbands sit braced, just waiting for the other shoe to
drop and the yelling monster to re-appear. We aren't completely
sure of who we have become, but not sitting through 35 minutes of piano
practice hell sounds pretty good right about now.
Lunch boxes are another story. While we still bribe, cajole
and threaten our kids to pleaseeeeee try the cheese soup, they refuse,
making the morning routine that much more eventful. While October
packed lunches looked colorful, nutritious and properly proportioned,
end-of-year brown bags make the school dietician shudder.
Lunchables suddenly don't seem so processed, and you reason that there
are probably some vitamins embedded in those goldfish crackers.
You throw in some grapes that the half squishy, knowing full well your
kids will snobbishly pawn those off in the nearest garbage can.
The lunch box itself carries a strange smell, probably stemming from
the unidentifiable stains in the lining.
A mom's job in May is simple: to collect homemade Mother's Day
gifts, buy your kids' exhausted teacher a gift card of some sort and
figure out how to neutralize those strange odors.
Sincerely,
A+K
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