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Broke Wife, Big City
Thanksgiving
2016
By Aprill Brandon
Hey, have I mentioned how much I love Thanksgiving? Because I do. Oh,
so much. And not just because it’s a holiday where it’s acceptable to
drink all day.
This year in particular I’m looking forward to because it’s the first
Thanksgiving where our whole family is complete. Both kids are now
officially out of my uterus and I plan on having no other occupants in
said uterus unless my husband wants brutally whacked with a frying pan.
So, I am just filled to the brim with the Thanksgiving spirit (and here
soon the Thanksgiving spirits).
Which is why I wanted to make a list of all the things I am thankful
for this year because there are just so many. For instance…
Not being pregnant like I was last year when I almost puked on
three-fourths of my husband’s lovely extended family.
Not being pregnant like I was last year so I can drink wine before I’m
required to stick my hand up a strange turkey’s arse.
Not being pregnant like I was last year so I can eat my famous
cheeseball again, soaking up all the delicious possible listeria
guilt-free.
Not being pregnant like I was last year because, surprise!, I hate
being pregnant.
And in non-non-pregnant things to be thankful for:
Joe Biden memes, which I suspect might be the only thing holding the
country together at this point.
Not leaving my house on Black Friday but snarkily tweeting about it
from the comfort of my couch.
Both my kids are beautiful and healthy and think Momma is just the
greatest. Even when she’s having a bad day and isn’t.
Finding friends who like and accept me regardless of my cliché love of
pumpkin spice.
That panty hose are no longer a thing.
I know I say this every year, but toilet paper, because, I mean, think
of the alternative.
Being an adult and as such having the freedom to have ice cream for
breakfast! And a wheel of cheese at lunch! And a beer whenever I want!
As long as I do all those things while hiding in the bathroom from the
rest of the family!
That moment amidst the chaos when you’re handing your small children
back and forth with your significant other because one needs fed and
the other needs a diaper change or whatever the reason, and your hands
briefly touch while exchanging the kids and you feel so connected, so
bonded to them. And you become more than just a team. You become
a tribe. And the love is so strong in that brief moment that you almost
can’t stand it.
Basil ice cream (it’s a thing and it’s amazing).
That when I look at my children, I’m still blown away by the fact they
are mine and I get to keep them.
Accidentally stumbling upon a recipe for Deep Fried Stuffing Balls
while looking up Thanksgiving ideas and feeling a swell of pride at
being an American in a year where being an American was extremely
difficult.
My family is finally at the point financially that we can afford to get
two toppings on our pizza. Three, if it’s a special occasion.
There is going to be a revival of “Gilmore Girls” on Netflix (and more
broadly, that we live in a time where the end of a beloved TV show
isn’t necessarily the end).
Tiny, chubby baby feet that you have to use all of your willpower not
to bite because they are the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen and
for some reason humans always want to bite really adorable things.
My stupid dog. God, I love that stupid dog.
Our son isn’t even close to being potty trained yet but at least he is
to the point where he can tell us loudly in public that he is “GOING
POTTY RIGHT NOW, MOMMA! YAY!”
Having the power in the palm of my hand to reach out to other moms,
other writers, other rabid fans of the TV show “Supernatural.” All of
those things can be extremely isolating and I can guarantee I’m not the
only one who has found a haven online to help get me through the bad
days. For all our handwringing about how technology is turning us into
a bunch of zombies, at least we are bunch of zombies with online
friends who understand what we are going through.
Strangers who randomly tell you to have a Happy Thanksgiving.
And on that note, Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Can’t get enough of Aprill? Can’t wait until next week?
Check out her website at http://aprillbrandon.com/
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