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If you could
just learn how to behave
By Susan Olling
This piece runs the gamut. Fasten your seatbelts, and read on.
There are mystifying lists of the best you-fill-in-the-blank. Who
takes them seriously? Someone ranked the top twenty
expensive, overrated tourist destinations. Mount Rushmore made
the list. Really? Washington, D.C. did not. It
certainly isn’t cheap to visit here, and it’s very much
overrated. There was a list of summer tourist destinations to
avoid. Ocean City and Virginia Beach were among places to avoid
(no surprise, go in the off-season). Washington, D.C. wasn’t
included. It’s very much a place to avoid at any time of
year. Williamsburg, Virginia made a list of affordable tourist
spots for 2017-2018. While the District didn’t make the list (no
surprise), it seems almost no one goes to Williamsburg without going to
D.C. At least from what we’ve observed in both
places.
A list that made me laugh quite hard ranked the top twenty best places
to live in the United States for the weather. Washington, D.C.’s
number seven. Hmm. This area has large bodies of water on
the east side and mountains on the west side, and they all contribute
to our weather. Summer: beastly hot and humid; and tornados (Kent
Island earlier this week), hurricanes, and tropical storms are not
unheard of. Not to mention the occasional derecho.
Winter: freezing rain and snow. Can we remember
Snowmageddon? Spring and fall are abbreviated. We can have
frost until Mother’s Day. Who moves here for the weather?
Our little subway system continues to amuse. I’m still chuckling
about a writer who described it as “semi-functional”. Very
charitable. Also, it “feels like” a forgotten, unclosed fair
exhibit. Agreed. During July and August, a long stretch on
our side of the Red Line is closed on weekends for repairs at two
stations. Shuttles buses will take the poor passengers between
Grosvenor (pronounced Grovenor, by the way—the s is silent)-Strathmore
and Friendship Heights. Tourists from Ohio were interviewed about
their experience with this mess. They thought everything went
fine. That’s what I’d expect from anyone not familiar with our
little subway system.
Mr. History rides his bike to work. Unfortunately, tourists seem
to think it’s perfectly acceptable to sit on his bike (or let their
kids sit on the bike-photo op for the little trolls) or to stand around
the bike for pictures. These incidents further illustrate how
stupid and entitled Americans are. Think folks, would you want
strangers messing about with your transportation? If you’re
unable to ask the owner’s permission (because you don’t know the
owner), leave the bike alone.
The pool at the World War Two Memorial has been attracting the usual
population of waders. During one stretch of hot weather, a local
news crew set up a camera at 11:00 one morning. A few minutes
later, there was wonderful footage showing a kid, old enough to know
better, going into the pool. Not sure what the parent who was
standing right there was thinking. Oh wait, tourists don’t think
when they’re on vacation, silly me. During a more recent
period of hot weather, there were lots of people with their feet in the
pool. A mother and her two daughters were wading. Must have
missed those signs or couldn’t read them. Mom couldn’t understand
the difference between soaking one’s feet and wading. My dear, if
you don’t know the difference, this country is in more trouble than we
realize. Later in the day, one couple was curious as to why
tourists couldn’t understand what the signs meant. Good
question. Another visitor, bless him, suggested a solution to the
problem. Taser anyone getting into the pool. What do you
readers think?
Even some tour bus drivers are displaying conduct unbecoming.
These folks seem to have decided it’s perfectly acceptable to sit and
wait for their groups, bus engines idling, in full view of signs saying
“Loading/Unloading Only”. Then these drivers want to ignore
police officers who tell them to move their buses. Until the
officers reach for their ticket books. There’s movement pretty
quickly then.
One recent evening, a tour bus was parked in a handicapped parking
space (that’s a $250 ticket). Another driver was trying to park
his tour bus in front of the first offending bus. Also in a
handicapped space. A crunching sound was heard. I’m sure the
responding officers had fun with this.
To the more than sixty-one million of you who just had to visit the
national parks around the District of Columbia in 2016, thanks for
putting 1.2 billion dollars into the area economy. Now, if you
could just learn to behave. Appropriate behavior during your
entire stay is too much to ask, but is it so hard to behave in the
local national parks? I know, some readers may think I have
nothing good to write about tourists. If tourists gave me good
things about which to write, I would. However, that hasn’t
happened yet. Surprise me, tourists, and behave like travelers.
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