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Broke Wife, Big City
What I’m
thankful for this Thanksgiving
By Aprill Brandon
I don’t know about you guys but, for me, this has been one doozy of a
year. Trying to juggle two small children and marriage and jobs and
deadlines and ever-rising bills and the tattered remains of my social
life, all while being chronically sleep deprived and all while the
outside world appears to be crumbling around us, has taken its toll.
I’m tired, ya’ll.
And disillusioned.
And anxious and overwhelmed and whatever emotion that googly-eyed emoji
face is supposed to portray.
And yet, at the same time, I’m also blissfully happy in those
in-between moments, when I turn off the TV and my phone, and remember
to actually live my life and look my family in the face and kiss my
husband and squeeze my little squishies until they giggle so hard they
fart.
Welcome to 2017.
But that’s the great thing about Thanksgiving. No matter what kind of
year you’ve had, you can always find something to be grateful for, even
if it’s just the little things in those in-between moments.
Like tiny, little, giggle-induced, baby farts.
And with that I present what I am thankful for this year:
1. That I have two beautiful, healthy children...who are napping right
now.
2. That I have a smoking hot husband...who is napping right now.
3. That because everyone is napping right now, I can get the good,
expensive chocolate out from its secret hiding place and eat it in the
open.
4. That my smoking hot husband will take care of our two beautiful,
healthy and unreasonably energetic children while I drink wine in the
kitchen cook the Thanksgiving dinner.
5. That the chances are high I can convince that same husband to stick
his hand up the giant turkey’s butt and take out the gross innards so I
don’t have to.
6. That we already bought all the food we need for Thursday and don’t
have to get in a slap fight with an old lady at the grocery store over
the last of the cream cheese.
7. That no one in my family likes sweet potatoes so I don’t have to
bother making sweet potatoes because sweet potatoes are garbage.
8. That even though we can’t have a big Thanksgiving with all our
family, since both mine and his live far away, this in turn means we
can wear sweatpants to dinner.
9. That I am healthy. Except for this weird rash on my neck. And that
other weird bump on my wrist. And that thing where my legs randomly go
numb. I’m sure it’s fine.
10. On a related note, I’m grateful that we can still afford health
insurance for the time being.
11. On another related note, that I have never taken health or life
advice from Gwyneth Paltrow’s website Goop.
12. That even though we are living in the darkest of all possible
timelines, coffee still exists.
13. As does wine.
14. And rum.
15. That my son’s fall soccer league finally ended and I no longer have
to pretend that soccer is awesome or fun.
16. That my husband bought bathtub crayons for our kids, which we
adults use to write dirty messages to each other in the shower.
17. That I have wonderful, amazing friends. Who I rarely see. Or talk
to. But when I do, also love to curse an obscene amount.
18. That the season of letting my kids just wear footie pajamas all day
is finally upon us.
19. That now that I’m a grown-up I can just have mozzarella sticks for
dinner but insist my children eat all of their green beans.
20. That through it all, I’m still here, chugging along, still writing
and still trying to find the humor where I can.
Can’t get enough of Aprill? Can’t wait until next week?
Check out her website at http://aprillbrandon.com/
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