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Will men in
Ohio speak out against domestic violence?
By Melissa Martin
Mothers, sisters, and daughters are victims of domestic violence.
Wives, live-in partners, and girlfriends are victims of domestic
violence. Teen girls are victims of dating violence.
Throughout history it’s been women at the forefront for change at the
grassroots level and at our nation’s capital as they marched for
police, the courts, and the government to pass and enforce laws to
prevent and intervene in family violence.
Where are the male voices? Why aren’t men involved in preventing
domestic violence? Will men listen to men?
“Now, when it comes to men and male culture, the goal is to get men who
are not abusive to challenge men who are,” proclaimed Jackson Katz. He
continued the TED Talk, “We need more men with the guts, with the
courage, with the strength, with the moral integrity to break our
complicit silence and challenge each other and stand with women and not
against them.” TED.com.
Anna Moore, journalist for The Guardian, interviewed Patrick Stewart
(Star Trek’s Captain Picard) at a 2018 domestic violence charity event
before he took the stage. Moore asked why Stewart is speaking out.
“Because domestic violence is a man’s problem. We are the ones who are
committing the offences, performing the cruel acts, controlling and
denying. It’s the men,” Patrick Stewart commented after sharing that
his father abused his mother.
Men Speak Out in Ohio
The Ohio Men's Action Network (ohman) is about the prevention of
intimate partner violence, sexual violence, and other types of
oppression. There is a unifying effort in Ohio to reach boys, young
men, and men to prevent all forms of violence. Contact Engaging Men
Coordinator, Justin Carter at justinc@odvn.org. Visit the Ohio Domestic
Violence Network at www.odvn.org/.
The following are 10 things men can do to end men's violence against
women:
One: Acknowledge and understand how sexism, male dominance and male
privilege lay the foundation for all forms of violence against women.
Two: Examine and challenge our individual sexism and the role that we
play in supporting men who are abusive.
Three: Recognize and stop colluding with other men by getting out of
our socially defined roles, and take a stance to end violence against
women.
Four: Remember that our silence is affirming. When we choose not to
speak out against men’s violence, we are supporting it.
Five: Educate and re-educate our sons and other young men about our
responsibility in ending men’s violence against women.
Six: "Break out of the man box"- Challenge traditional images of
manhood that stop us from actively taking a stand to end violence
against women.
Seven: Accept and own our responsibility that violence against women
will not end until men become part of the solution to end it. We must
take an active role in creating a cultural and social shift that no
longer tolerates violence against women.
Eight: Stop supporting the notion that men’s violence against women is
due to mental illness, lack of anger management skills, chemical
dependency, stress, etc… Violence against women is rooted in the
historic oppression of women and the outgrowth of the socialization of
men.
Nine: Take responsibility for creating appropriate and effective ways
to develop systems to educate and hold men accountable.
Ten: Create systems of accountability to women in your community.
Violence against women will end only when we take direction from those
who understand it most, women.
“Men have been waiting to have authentic conversations about what it
really means to be a man with other men. Thus we need to create,
embrace, and foster these communications, campaigns and support groups
to ensure these conversations happen all across Ohio.” Visit
www.ohman-ohio.org/.
This is a call for men in Ohio to stand up and help prevent domestic
violence!
Melissa Martin, Ph.D., is an author, columnist, educator, and
therapist. She lives in Southern Ohio.
www.melissamartinchildrensauthor.com.
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