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Start Talking!
Know! How to
Talk to Your Kids About School Violence
3/13/2018
Have you checked in with your children regarding the recent school
shooting in Florida to see what they’re thinking and how they’re
feeling about it? Do you know what to say? It is only natural for
parents to struggle with what to say about this senseless tragedy,
along with the additional acts and threats of school violence that have
since followed.
While it may not be a comfortable topic to discuss with our children,
it is a necessary one; and one that will hopefully help to ease some
young peoples’ anxiety and fear after witnessing (through news and
social media) the horrific events unfold right in front of their eyes,
then replayed again and again.
As parents, it is up to us to provide a filter for what they’re seeing
and hearing, give them information, clear up any questions, and help
them feel safe.
How can we do this?
Consider your own reactions. Your child is watching you and taking
notes. The way you handle yourself in the midst of tragedy will hugely
impact the way your child handles it. If you can remain calm and
rational, they will be more likely to do the same.
Let them express themselves. This is especially important for our
teens, as they will have absorbed information independently of us. Ask
your child what they’ve heard and how they’re feeling, then listen
carefully to determine how to best continue the conversation.
Share the truth. Do not dismiss anything your child has to say, but do
address any misinformation or misunderstandings. Give them
age-appropriate information so that they have an understanding of the
events that took place. Experts warn, however, to avoid graphic details
and unnecessary information. Older children, for instance, may be able
to understand the moral implications of taking another person’s life
and the social consequences.
Give them a chance to ask questions. If you don’t have all the answers,
which most of us don’t, it is okay to admit it. Assure your child that
he or she is safe and, if needed, seek the help of a trained
professional if your child’s distress continues for several weeks.
Be aware of your child’s social media activity and monitor and/or limit
their exposure to the news. Experts say young children should not be
allowed to watch live images of traumatic events playing out. Even for
our teens, experts advise parents to watch the news with them to talk
through what is happening. Depending on the needs of your child, you
can take it one step further by recording and screening the news ahead
of time, then using the pause button to stop and address questions and
concerns as things unfold.
Reassure children of their safety. This is the number one goal - for
our children to be able to feel safe at school - so that they can learn
and grow, and just enjoy being kids. Remind them of the safety measures
their school takes to protect them. And regardless of where you stand
on gun control issues, let your teen know that your family, their
school, and the community cares about them deeply. Remind them that all
of you, and adults nationwide, are working very hard to determine and
implement new measures that will protect them and prevent tragedies
like this in the future.
Even as we try to move forward, this conversation will need to continue.
Don’t worry about saying everything perfectly. The biggest mistake we
can make is to avoid the conversation with our children. If we are the
ones leading the discussion, we are in the best position possible to
provide them with appropriate and correct information, as well as lend
our support along the way.
*If your child is afraid to go to school, try to ease their mind by
taking them through their school’s current safety/security plan in
detail, including any additional measures the school may be
introducing. Let your child know that in the unlikely event something
was to happen, you would be made aware of it right away and that you
would rush to be there for them. If your child continues to struggle
with feelings of fear related to the recent school tragedy or threats
of additional school violence, it may be necessary to reach out to a
counselor or therapist.
Remember to follow Start Talking! on Twitter and Like us on Facebook.
Learn how to get the drug prevention conversation started at
StartTalking.Ohio.Gov.
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