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The post-holiday let-down happens
By Melissa Martin, Ph.D.
The happy sappy crowd remains full of cheer. Their gala of gab
continues. However, some folks feel a mood swing as the merry season
comes to a close.
The country clan is bummed out again because they did not find Bigfoot.
Or a hair sample, footprints or a pile of scat. No Sasquatch found in
2019. Don’t give up hope.
The scratch-off tickets in many stockings didn’t yield a cent.
Disappointment dwells in these fuming folks. No winners or chicken
dinners.
The television commercials about new vehicles in driveways with giant
red bows are bogus. Don’t believe what you see on the screen.
Gift receivers are returning the ugly sweaters, putrid perfumes, and
itchy bathrobes. Gag gifts will be recycled. My family and friends
better not recycle the wild, wacky, yet wonderful Squirrel in
Underpants air fresheners.
The reindeer jerky wasn’t the big hit you thought it would be. The kids
remain suspicious that parts of Rudolph were dried and packaged. But
they loved the bacon-flavored candy canes.
And just what do you do with the custom face socks from Cousin Melba,
the crazy cat lady? She took a selfie with her six cats and had the
picture put on socks. And she expects you to wear them.
“Thank you, Stockings, for being a long flammable piece of fabric people like to hang over a roaring fireplace.” – Jimmy Fallon
The hassle of holiday hullabaloo catapults introverts into hiding until
house guests leave. And the dog refuses to come out from under the bed
until all small children are gone. The kitchen resembles a demolition
derby. Savor the memories.
Look on the brighter side. Uncle Ernie didn’t burp, belch, or pretend
to pick boogers at the dinner table this year. Aunt Gertie didn’t give
away her famous fruitcakes. Ah fruitcake. Is it a dessert or a
doorstop? I am not a fruitcake fan.
On a positive note, coworkers didn’t like the Spam hors d'oeuvres you
baked for the office party. So there’s enough left for your lunch.
Yummy. But why is this tasty meat named after unwanted email messages?
It’s a mystery.
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
What’s the remedy for post-holiday slump? Eat the gingerbread house.
Send the Elf on the Shelf on a long trip. Pull the plug on the
Christmas inflatables in your neighbor’s yard. Donate the solar powered
Rudolph outdoor lawn sculpture. Dare the UPS guy to deliver any
packages to your front door.
Take a timeout from texting. Dump digital devices for 24 hours and take
a nap. Reset, rest, and read a book. Soothe the self with a cup of
herbal tea, sniff lavender oil, and partake in meditation. Reflect on
the reason for the season.
Bounce back from blah and boost your brain and body with water and
walking. Take another nap. Watch giggling babies on YouTube and laugh.
Dig a hole in the backyard and bury all the loose Lego parts you find
on the floor.
“I grew up on a Christmas Tree Farm so this is a good season for me. I
was too young to help with the hauling of the trees up the hills and
putting them onto cars. So, it was my job to pull the preying mantis
pods off of the Christmas trees. The problem with that is if you leave
them on there, people bring them into their house. I forgot to check
one time and they hatched all over these people’s house—and there were
hundreds of thousands of them!” – Taylor Swift
Be glad you have an artificial tree.
Melissa Martin, Ph.D., is an author, columnist, educator, and
therapist. She lives in Ohio. Contact her at
melissamcolumnist@gmail.com.
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