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Broke Wife, Big City
Everyone
get out my house
By Aprill Brandon
Pretty much at some point in my day, pretty much every day, I realize
just how lucky I am. A loving husband who loves to tell me about his
day. Beautiful little children who fill my ears and heart with the
sounds of laughter and the pitter-patter of little feet. I treasure
each and every moment with these amazing creatures.
But I could treasure them even more with just a little bit of distance.
Which is why right now I need all these people out of my house.
I don’t care if it’s far away or just down the street.
But get out.
I realize this might sound ungrateful. These people fill my life with a
joy I have never known before. Moreover, they have filled it with
meaning and purpose and unconditional love.
And whistles. They have filled my life with oh-so-many whistles. What
idiot gave these kids whistles? Whistles that they blow right beside my
ears while jumping up and down right beside me on the couch.
Which is why everyone needs to get out of my house.
Now.
I have never lived alone. I lived at home and then had a bunch of
college roommates and then I moved back home and then BOOM, my stupid
husband made me fall in love with him and we started our life together.
And then we added two more homemade humans to the mix. Humans who have
no concept of personal space and proper booger disposal techniques and
appropriate voice volume.
And while I wouldn’t change a thing about my life, there are days when
a room of one’s own isn’t nearly enough.
Everyone get out of my house.
Of course, it’s not like I myself never get the chance to leave my
house. My husband is great about giving me time to do my own things. I
go for runs. I go to coffee shops to write. When he gets home from work
and I have a certain look on my face, he quickly ushers me out the door
into the direction of the closest bar. But there are those times when I
don’t want to put on an entire pair of pants and comb the little green
army men out of my hair so that I can be “socially acceptable.” I want
to eat junk food that I don’t have to share on the couch in my ratty
old robe while watching TV shows featuring nudity and curse words. And
I don’t want to have to pause it so that I can refill sippy cups eight
times in two hours.
Get. Out. My. House.
Someday, years from now, I dream of a house filled with my husband and
my grown kids and their significant others and an entire litter of
grandbabies who all call me MawMaw. A day where we all gather around
the table and the house is full to bursting with conversations and
laughter and jokes and memories. A day where I can’t imagine that at
one point I ever wanted time alone.
But today is not that day.
EVERYBODY OUT.
And don’t come back for at least three hours.
Can’t get enough of Aprill? Can’t wait until next week?
Check out her website at http://aprillbrandon.com/
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