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More
is not always better
By Melissa Martin
“If I only had more,” said the people. How many of us have made (or
thought) this very same comment? How many of us have envied or resented
those with more? How many of us have obsessed over how to get more?
It’s human nature to equate “more” with happiness, contentment,
satisfaction. Work hard to have more. Invest to have more. Save to have
more. Our cultural expectations of “success” have left the masses
unfulfilled, disappointed, and empty. Be smarter. Be prettier. Be
wealthier. Once we feel happy—we want to feel happier. We chase after
the “happy train” on the way to find “more.” More intelligence. More
beauty. More treasure.
“The Disease of More” is a 2017 article penned by Mark Manson, a
most-read and shared story on the website called Pocket. Manson
mentioned hall of frame coach Pat Riley (the man that led six teams to
NBA championships) who coined the sports concept called Disease of
More.
The 1980 Lakers is his example. In the beginning, they functioned as a
unified team focused on winning. But after a championship, the players
because focused on themselves and wanted “more.” More fortune (money,
houses, cars). More fame (endorsements, commercials, media attention).
Manson surmised, “As a result, what was once a cohesive group of
hardworking men begins to fray. Egos get involved. Gatorade bottles are
thrown. And the psychological composition of the team changes — what
was once a perfect chemistry of bodies and minds becomes a toxic,
atomized mess. Players feel entitled to ignore the small, unsexy tasks
that actually win championships, believing that they’ve earned the
right to not do it anymore. And as a result, what was the most talented
team, ends up failing.” www.getpocket.com/.
How many of us have sacrificed our time to have “more”? More awards,
achievements, accolades. More degrees, promotions, raises. More
information, knowledge, wisdom. More self-improvement with the goals of
weight loss, firmer muscles, tighter bums.
Mansion continued, “The improvement is not the problem, it’s the WHY
that’s motivating the improvement that matters. When one compulsively
looks to improve oneself, without any greater cause or reason driving
it other than self-aggrandizement, it leads to a life of immense
self-preoccupation, a light and beneficent form of narcissism where
one’s constant attention and focus is on oneself. And ironically, this
will probably make your life worse off.”
Herein lies the “more” fallacy. If I have more—I am worthy. If I have
more—I am lovable. If I have more—I am significant. This is
self-defeating monologue. Step away from social media hype and
hyperbole. Human beings are worthy, lovable, and significant without
“more”—albeit the world of the powerful and the privileged disagree.
But Creator God knows the truth and this truth will set us free.
And in my opinion, happy is an emotion that comes and goes, like our
other emotions. “But I just want to be happy!” exclaimed the people.
Happy is not a state of being. So stop chasing after it. Happy feelings
ebb and flow. The emotion of happy serves a purpose just like the
emotion of sad.
Further explanations are offered lest you misunderstand.
Humans need to be engaged in daily living: being involved in activities
that give life meaning; being purposeful with goals; being active in
relationships with family, friends, coworkers, and other individuals.
Resting, relaxing, and vacationing is necessary. Singing, dancing, and
laughing is necessary. Making money, spending money, and enjoying money
is necessary.
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives,” wrote
Annie Dillard.
Society needs individuals in all types of careers and employment. To
work is part of God’s original design for humanity. The Lord God took
the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of
it. (Genesis 2:15, NIV)
But if you think you’re too unique to scrub a toilet—you’ve missed the
mark of humility. How many American presidents have cleaned a commode
in the White House? I’m reminded of the movie Gandhi and the scene
where he expected his entire crew (including himself) to clean the
common latrines.
It’s okay to own things, but do things own you? It’s okay to save
money, but are you like Scrooge McDuck? It’s okay to invent products
that make chores easier.
What’s the takeaway from my column? “More” of everything does not equal
a satisfied life. Moderation in all things demonstrates a balanced
life. Check your motives for why you do what you do. Self-preoccupation
increases discontentment.
And one more thing—I need to take my own advice.
Melissa Martin, Ph.D., is an author, columnist, and educator. She lives
in
Southern Ohio. www.melissamartinchildrensauthor.com.
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