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Start Talking!
Know! To Arm Them with Education, Motivation, Expectations and the X-Plan
6/18/2019
Young people who begin drinking before the age of 15 are six times more
likely to develop alcoholism or have problems with alcohol later in
life, compared to those who wait until turning 21.
Communication is key to prevention and essential in building and
sustaining a positive relationship with our children, students, youth
group members, athletes, etc. While it is vital to have ongoing
conversations on the topic of alcohol and other drugs with them, it is
equally important to talk about the everyday things happening in their
lives. They need to know that we genuinely care about them, respect
their feelings and opinions, and that we are looking out for their best
interest. That way, when it comes time to talk about the heavier stuff,
the foundation of trust is already there.
When sharing information with your child on underage drinking, it is
important to be clear on where you stand on the issue. Make sure they
are aware of your expectations for them not to drink before turning the
legal age of 21, and be sure they know the consequences of making the
wrong choice.
It is also valuable to help your child find his/her motivation to say
NO to alcohol – be it school, sports, spiritual reasons or simply to
comply with house rules. And then help them practice saying NO. It may
feel a little silly, but it will better prepare them for a real-life
scenario.
Even with all this, there may be times where a simple NO may not feel
like enough, or the pressure is too overwhelming. For circumstances
like this, whether it be about alcohol or other drugs, or any other
uncomfortable situation a child may find him or herself in, there is
the X-Plan. Developed by Bert Fulks (dad/teacher/youth minister, who
works with teens in addiction recovery), the X-Plan is an excellent
exit strategy that helps a teen save face in front of peers, but gets
them out of a sticky situation quickly and safely.
Here’s an example of how it works:
Taylor, a high school student, goes to a gathering at a friend’s house.
Once there, he sees his underage peers drinking and smoking. He is
feeling tremendously uncomfortable and is getting extreme pressure from
his buddies to join them. He discretely sends a text to his brother
that simply includes the letter, “x,” nothing more.
But actually, it is more. And it sets in motion a plan that is designed
to get Taylor out of situations just like this. Mom, dad and brother
know what to do if they receive this text from Taylor. They promptly
call him and the conversation goes something like this:
“Hello?”
“Taylor, something has come up and I need to get you right now.”
“What happened?”
“I’ll tell you about it when I get there. Be ready to leave in five minutes. I’m on my way.”
Here’s the tricky part of the deal... when Taylor gets in the car,
there is a “no questions asked policy.” It is up to him how much or how
little he chooses to share. And in order for this plan to work, this
piece must be made known to the child and respected by the parents.
This is not to say that a conversation cannot take place later, but if
you force your child to spill the beans, you should know that you’re
likely going to ruin the chance of your son or daughter reaching out to
you again in a similar scenario.
The bottom line is this; we cannot be physically present with our child
at all times, but our influence can. Our voices can be heard by them
even when we are not there. We can promote prevention by arming our
youth with education, motivation, expectations and when needed, the
X-Plan.
Learn how to get the drug prevention conversation started at StartTalking.Ohio.Gov.
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