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The Night My Daughter Was Born
By Tatiayana Cox
Edison State Communications Student
Nothing can ever quite prepare a woman for the birth of their first
child and what it would mean for them. You can take birthing classes
and read books to help you understand some of the logistics, but
nothing quite prepares you for the real thing!
I hung on cousin Cyndi’s every word about her delivery because we were
due only three weeks apart. I was scared. My mother revealed that she
nearly bled to death during the difficult delivery of my brother, Phil.
What shocked me most about Cyndi’s story was her attempts to get off
the delivery table in order to go home that day. I thought she sounded
like a crazy person. Who would think you could leave the hospital
because you just didn’t feel up to going through labor and delivery?! I
had no clue how much I would come to appreciate her words.
I woke up in the middle of the night thinking I had to pee when I
realized that my water had just broke. I started having mild
contractions. I wasn’t sure if it’s false labor or not. It finally
registered what I was about to go through when we pulled up to the
first stop light. I had a déjà vu moment. I too panicked and told my
husband to turn the truck around to take me back home. I just wasn’t up
for going through labor and delivery that day. I can’t explain it. Your
rational mind doesn’t register that you don’t have a choice! My patient
husband had to explain. I had no choice. We must go to the hospital.
This was happening now!
Things did not go as smoothly as hoped. I went through several hours of
labor with an unsuccessful epidural. I had shocking pains that ran down
my leg that were worse than the labor pains. A nurse informed me that I
shouldn’t be feeling anything. I went through the procedure again.
Afterwards, I told my husband we’d adopt if he wanted more children!
They eventually sent me to x-ray to see why I was making no progress.
We discovered my flat pelvic bone was the culprit. I came close to
having a C-section. Hannah was born the following day. I could barely
keep my eyes open, let alone have the strength to hold my newborn
daughter. It felt odd needing my husband’s help with my first attempts
at breast feeding. I was caught off guard by Hannah not latching on
immediately. I could see she was hungry and trying. I didn’t realize
she had to learn how to latch on. She didn’t yet feel like she belonged
to me and that this was real.
Everything changed the night they took her to the nursery and I walked
halls back and forth just to get a glimpse of her. I was in awe of her
chubby little cheeks and her hearty wail that could be heard clear down
the hall. All I wanted to do was get to my baby! I remember that was
the moment I fell in love with her! I thought she was the most
beautiful thing I ever saw and worth every moment! There is no book
that can ever prepare you for how everything else ceases to exist
around you the moment they become your world!
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