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Let them eat pie
By Melissa Martin, Ph.D.
“Let them eat cake” is a phrase attributed to Queen Marie Antoinette.
But we want turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, and all the tantalizing
trimmings on the annual celebration of giving thanks for food.
I want a traditional feast on Thanksgiving. It’s just sooo wrong for
food to masquerade as the read deal during the season of gratitude.
Pleeease! No canned cranberry sauce on the Thanksgiving dinner table.
Ugh. The jiggly, jellied stuff is yucky. It’s a blob of gross. In fact,
around 50 percent of Americans say canned cranberry sauce is
‘disgusting’ according to an online survey conducted by The Harris Poll.
Pleeease! No tofu turkey baking in the oven. Enough said.
Pleeease! No instant mashed potatoes piled high with melting margarine.
Use authentic butter—not some imposter. Respect the spud on this annual
day of honoring the Pilgrims and the Indians.
Pleeease! No boxed stuffing. You’ll upset the tender turkey.
And serve green bean casserole with crunchy onions on top. Cousin
Clevis will call for a food fight without the creamy mushroom soup
ingredient. Aunt Wilma will take her deviled eggs and amble home in a
huff. And no gravy means war.
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”—Erma Bombeck
Naysayers to traditional holiday foods need to put a sock in it. Aaah!
It’s okay to eat tasty treats once per year. Sweet potatoes, pecan pie,
fruity punch. A little high fructose corn syrup won’t kill you. A
dollop of whipped cream on your pumpkin pie won’t send you into a
glucose coma. It’s the flagship dessert at many Thanksgiving dinners. A
serving of glazed carrots won’t rot your teeth, either.
“To be a good cook you have to have a love of the good, a love of hard work, and a love of creating.” ―Julia Child
Grandma welcomes health food fanatics to her table, but you better not
criticize her high calorie dishes. She’ll shun you and exile you to the
children’s table.
Moderation and portion sizes are up to each dinner guest. A polite ‘no
thankful you’ suffices for declining second helpings for the dieting
crowd. Gorging is not expected or required. Besides, most relatives and
friends want to carry home a few leftovers. So, don’t chow down on the
plum pudding.
“Thanksgiving brings a lot of great things, like the four Fs: family, friends, food, and football.”—Hadley Mendelsohn
Of course, the Thanksgiving menu is focal, but the holiday is much more
than platefuls of goodies. It’s a time for gratitude for living in the
USA. For religious freedom and blessings. For liberty and democracy.
For the goodness of humankind to be extended to those in need.
Melissa Martin, Ph.D., is an author, columnist, educator, and
therapist. She lives in Ohio. Contact her at
melissamcolumnist@gmail.com.
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