the bistro off broadway
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Musings of a Senior Scribe

Happy Mother's Day!!

By Mona Lease
 

The following is attributed to Dayton, Ohio's own Erma Bombeck.
 

When God Made Mothers

 

When the Good Lord was creating Mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the Angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." And God said, "Have you seen the specs on this model? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic..have 180 movable parts - all replaceable..run on black coffee and leftovers..have a lap that disappears when she stands...a kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair...and six pairs of hands."

 

The Angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands..no way."  "It's not the hands that are causing me the problem, God remarked...It's the three pairs of eyes that Mothers have to have." "That's on the standard model?" the Angel asked.  God nodded.

 

One pair sees through doors when she asks, "What are you kids doing in there?"..when she already knows. Another pair here in the back of her head sees what she shouldn't, but has to know, and; of course, the ones here in the front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say.."I understand and I love you"...without uttering a word.

 

“God", said the angel, touching His sleeve gently, "Get some rest tomorrow." "I can't", said God. "I'm so close to creating something like myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick...can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger...and get a nine year old boy to stand under a shower."

 

The Angel circled the Model of a Mother very slowly. "It's too soft", she sighed. "But tough!", said the Lord, excitedly. "You can't imagine what this Mother can do or endure." "Can it think?", asked the Angel. "Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise" answered the Creator. Finally, the Angel ran her finger across the Model's cheek. "There's a leak.", she pronounced. "I told you that You were trying to put too much into this model."  "It's not a leak", said the Lord. "It's a tear."  "What's it for?", asked the Angel.   "It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride." "You are a genius", said the Angel. Somberly, God said, "I did not put it there."

 

Remember the kiddies and our service people. Take good care of the furry and feathered ones out there. Be safe and healthy. See ya next time!! Ever Toodles!! MONA



 
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