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Are the
oldersters the ones with dementia?
From a CNO Reader
ONE
Recently, I went to McDonald's and I saw on the menu that you could
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true... Must have been the same one I asked for
sweetener and she said they didn't have any, only Splenda and sugar.)
And they think they are worth $15.00 per hour?
TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up
one of those dividers that they keep by the cash register and placed it
between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had
scanned all of my items, she picked up the divider, looking it all over
for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this
is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
(But the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)
THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her DVD drive and
pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on
the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was
using the ATM thingy.
(Keep shuddering!!)
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
'Do you need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote
door un-locker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they
(pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit
this?'
Hmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered,handing it and the car keys
to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't
you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long
walk....'
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of
typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank
piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five
blank copies.
Brunette, by the way!!
SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants.
The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be
fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency right now!'
Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!
Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too.
Don't laugh.... it is all true...
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in
you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely
to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I
wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a
hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the
hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 5 PM.
9. You can live without sex but not your
glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about
pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits
as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach
in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance
is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate
meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your
friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally
down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this
list.
20. And you notice these are all in Big
Print for your convenience.
Remember, never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night!
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