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The Dance
By Mona Lease
Hi, all!! For you faint-of-heart readers, you'll probably want to quit
reading here. I'll state now that I do not consider myself any better
than any of you. I've got a bear-trap mark or two on my ankle.
I've been talking periodically to a young woman. And it always goes the
same: "Oh, he's wonderful. This time it's the real thing. He accepts me
just the way I am. He accepts my kids. He lets me keep my friends -
male and female. I can do what I want - when I want. I can go out for a
"girl's night" and it's ok. He buys me whatever I want. He takes me out
to eat. This guy is wonderful! He's aces! He's a dream come true! Where
has he been all of my life?! He's Bogey to my Becall! He's Adonis come
to life! Gasp! Sigh!" And then three months down the road - or two or
one...
"He's too controlling. He wanted me to quit seeing my male friends
while he was gone. He says my kids have Dads - go to them for what the
kids need or want. He said I can't wear this dress or those slacks or
this make-up. He said he's not paying for everything. He said - he said
- he said." She tells him to leave and not return. Or he tells her he's
done - lose his phone number. Enter another guy - same thing..."He's
Adonis (Adonis gets around, doesn't he?), he's Bogey....blah, blah,
blah." Same situation as above. Enter another guy. You readers get the
idea here - right?
How many of you readers actually remember the "dance card" or heard of
it? A dance card is actually a booklet or "programme du bal." These
were used by women at a formal ball. They are said to have started in
the 18th century And their use was widespread by the 19th
century...with Vienna being the capitol (if you will) and the idea
spreading outward from there. It was a hit in our southern USA.
The dance card had a list of all of the songs to be played at the ball.
Gentlemen would write their names to a certain song. He could sign his
name to more than one song. The term or phrase "pencil me in" (or
probably "pen me in") is said to have originated with the dance card.
It meant "make a spot for me" or "save some time for me." If you heard
"my dance card is full" it meant that she would love to dance with you
but she does not have room for another person." And a woman's dance
card could have only one or two signatures.
Ya'll should know that right about here - I have a question. Probably
more than one question. In the last six months - the above girl has
"been with Adonis" four times. My question: "Is it just me or does this
look like some kind of a crazy dance? You know - maybe it started with
the twist...then to a waltz...maybe throw in a tango...a two-step...a
little buck-n-wing...and to a slow dance (real day-to-day life?) Then
it's a break-up and cryin' the blues."
For all of these guys to come to the very same conclusion - for them
all to have the same grievances - does this imply (or outrightly say)
that she ought to learn a few new dance steps? Or maybe she should quit
a few of the dance moves entirely? If you don't want to be alone and
you keep winding up with the same scenario - should it be time to take
a look at yourself? There is no one perfect all of the time.
Remember the kiddies and our service people. Take good care of the
furry and feathered ones out there. Be safe and healthy. See ya next
time. Ever Toodles!!! MONA
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