|
|
 |
Time Heals
By Mona Lease
Greetings, Gals!! This column gives you another chapter of a book I've
been reading. Enjoy!
"The Art of Letting Go" - Chapter 4 - "6 Ways to Move on After a
Heartbreak That Will Begin to Heal the Pain" - Sabrina Alexis
When I was 17, I experienced an important rite of passage...my very
first heartbreak. I felt something (with this boy) that no one else had
ever made me feel before, and no one has since. I was absolutely
devastated, crushed, gutted from the inside out.
They say time heals, and in some ways this is true, but it takes more
than time. You also have to process the situation, you need to digest,
you need to feel, you need to make peace, you need to get in touch with
your inner strength, and you need to move on to a better, stronger
person than you were before.
Here's something to keep in mind about pain: it doesn't go away just
because it goes unacknowledged. The more you avoid it, the more it
merges into your psyche and becomes a part of you. These faulty beliefs
get wired in and will remain unless you challenge them.
1)Don't Take it Personally: I know it feels personal. It feels like you
weren't good enough, that you should have done something else, been
some other way. Sometimes the timing just isn't right.
Everyone has different things they want and need in a partner. There
might be some things about you that one guy doesn't want, and those
qualities may end up being what the right guy loves more than anything
about you.
2)Feel Your Feelings: This can be the hard part. Whatever you're
feeling, feel it. Don't bury it, don't hide from it, don't ignore it.
Mourn the loss, because the breakup is a loss; it's the loss of
potential, the loss of what could have been.
3)Write Him a Letter You Don't Send: This can be a part of the grieving
process and while it may sound pointless, it is incredibly therapeutic.
After a breakup, your emotions will probably start spiraling all over
the place. Rage, sadness, longing, anger, nostalgia, emptiness - you
could feel it all in the span of just 30 minutes. Whenever you feel the
urge to reach out to him, or speak to him, just write it out in a
letter.
4)Surround Yourself With Love: The loss of someone who you shared a
relationship with, will inevitably leave a void that can make you feel
empty and more alone and ever before. Fill this hole with more love,
either from family or friends. Don't isolate yourself from the world.
Do some things just for you.
5)Do a Self-Check: Everything that happens in life, especially when it
comes to breakups, has the potential to tear us down or take us to a
higher place. Here are a few good questions to ask yourself:
* What did I learn from this relationship that I can use in my next
relationship?
* What did I do in this relationship that I won't ever do again in
another relationship?
* What qualities do I truly need in a partner?
* Why did I stay even though the relationship wasn't working?
* What did I learn about myself through my time with him?
6)Get Excited About Your Next Relationship: Once you have felt your
feelings, found ways to love yourself, and learned the lessons that
will help you be an even better person; get excited to use these
newly-acquired tools with a man who is even more suited to you.
Finding the right guy entails two things. First, you must make yourself
a vessel to receive love. And you have to get over whatever issues are
holding you back from receiving love.
The above are excerpts from the book, "The Art of Letting Go".. Enjoy
the insights.
Keep stretching. Keep reaching. It's all out there. You just have to
find it and have room to receive it.
"Sometimes all you need is for someone to just be there, even if they
can't solve your problems. Just knowing there is someone who cares can
make all the difference." - sun.gazing.com
The best is yet to be!! MONA
|
|
|
<
|
