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What
I Don't Need
By Mona Lease
Hi, all!!! I've always heard that there will come a day in every
woman's life when she will throw her hands up in the air and admit
she's an "old woman." I always said I'd fight it all the way.
However, the day came for me. And it's all Boost Mobile's fault. I am
blameless I tell you!
Boost Mobile - with whom I've dealt - and no other - for the last 14
years - nonstop - sent me an email. Said email informed me that since
my phone is old - since they are making "programming changes" to their
network - my phone will not work should I try to manually program it.
They gave me numbers to manually program it (with current changes) that
will render my phone useless. WHAT?!! They said if I keep my current
phone - it "might" not work depending on how the local cell phone
towers are programmed. So - is this a "setup?"
Said email informed me that since my phone is old - Boost will give me
a free, new LG cell phone. All I need to do is go to a Boost store -
show them said email and I'll be the proud owner of a new Boost LG
something or other. Oh - there might be a $25 connect/set-up fee.
Here's the thing: These new cell phones can do any thing and every
thing. But, I don't need a phone to:
Tell me the current weather around the world. I'm not traveling.
Tell me when the fishing is the best. I have an almanac.
Answer odd questions I have. I have a laptop.
Give me 3 way calling. I have it now...do not use it.
Allow me to get on the internet. Again - I have a laptop.
Tell me what time it is here. I have a watch...a clock...I'm good.
Remind me of scheduled appointment. I have a calendar.
Automatically screen/block calls. I just don't answer!!
Send or receive emails. Again---the laptop.
Run background checks on others. I don't care in that regard.
Autodial numbers for me/inform me when they answer. Really?
Do math. I learned that in school.
Save cooking recipes for me. I have cookbooks.
Tell me how to change an auto tire. Learned that in Driver's Ed.
Get on Facebook. Again - the laptop.
Be GPS endowed. I can usually get where I need to go.
Record videos - My camera does that.
Hold my hand when I'm sad. I'm joking...I think.
Sing to me. Dance with me. I'm kidding.
Help me fold laundry. That would actually be nice. No kidding.
I just need the phone to make and receive phone calls. And send or
receive texts. I don't even send or receive pictures. I have a camera -
all unto itself.
So I call Boost. The gentleman who answered the phone and told me - in
broken English - that his name was Craig - informed me that I have to
tell him my story before I can speak with a supervisor (old person's
sigh). I explain. A supervisor gets on the line - speaking in broken
English. I repeat my story. I ask if I may keep my current phone. I
explain that I have been with Boost for 14 years. I've been happy with
their service. Or do I need to go to Jitterbug (an old people's cell
phone ONLY with calling capability - no texts)? I'm informed that
Boost is sending out another email (to everyone) regarding who can keep
their current "old phones." And yes, I may keep my current cell phone
and it's same service. We'll see.
This all feels like a blot - or a stain of some kind...some how. I had
no breaks in my service...no missed monthly payments in 14 years.
And almost like adding insult to injury: I never learned to do the
Jitterbug dance but, I might be using a Jitterbug cell phone.
Here's a list of stubborn stains (blots?) you can erase.
STAIN
USE
Red
Wine
White Wine
Make
up
Shaving Cream
Blood
Hydrogen Peroxide
Coffee
Baking Soda
Ink
Milk
Lipstick
Baby Wipes
Oil
Chalk
Sweat
Lemons
Grease
Soda
Remember the kiddies and our service people. Take good care of the
furry and feathered ones out there. Be safe and healthy. See ya next
time. Ever Toodles!!! MONA
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