|
|
Mind, Body, Soul
In the Understanding
By Mona Lease
Greetings, Gals!! WARNING: Some of the following might seem harsh
or unrealistic. Give it a chance and let all of the possibilities run
through your mind.
I made my way to an Old Order German Baptist Meeting House. I had been
past it many times. This time...for some reason...I decided to enter
the grounds. It sets in the country. I drove in and went around the
building. There are lots of trees and a gentle breeze blew through
them. I could hear the faint buzz of insects and the wings of the birds
as they flew among the tree tops. I laid my head on the steering wheel
and let the old memories of my maternal Grandmother's farm wash over
me. Soon I heard a lawn mower. I looked up and saw a riding lawn mower
moving in the distance on the next property.
I finished my "memory lane" trip and went over to the next property to
tell them that I was only visiting the Meeting House and that I meant
no destruction or harm. It turned out that the "mower-rider" was gone.
The woman I spoke with told me she is caring for her husband who has
dementia and cancer. We chatted for a while and before I left she asked
me if she could give me a hug. We hugged and I left saying I'd
return soon.
Then I wondered: Is she her husband's sole caregiver? Is that why she
hugged me - I was a new, welcome presence in her world? She said she
was 73 years old. What she is experiencing is a normal part of life.
She is probably experiencing it to a deeper degree with the double
sickness.
I spoke with a Director of Nursing and a Social Worker. They gave me
their advice if you are going to be a sole caregiver or even be a
relief-caregiver.
From the Director of Nursing: If you are working with a
dementia/Alzheimer's patient you have to get into their world. They are
living in a memory much of the time. She shared that once there was a
woman patient who was yelling and screaming about the pain. The
Director of Nursing asked what was going on to create the pain. The
patient said she was having a baby (remember this patient is an elderly
dementia patient in a nursing home). The Director of Nursing got a doll
baby from somewhere and a sheet. She put the sheet over the woman's
legs and acted like there was a baby born. She handed the "baby" to the
patient who hugged it to her and cried, "Go get Avery" - husband and
Father of the baby. The next morning the memory was gone.
The Director of Nursing said if someone offers to give you a break and
"babysit" - as it were - take the offer. You need as many breaks as you
can get. This caregiving encompasses you - mind, body, soul. One feeds
the other. If your body is tired - your mind and soul are not at their
best. If your mind is not settled - your soul and body take the
overload.
There have been many instances where a patient has been hurt being
cared for at home. Is this anyone's fault? Absolutely not. These things
happen in hospitals and care facilities. Depending on the severity of
the disease - anything is possible. You need to be prepared for this -
mind, body, soul.
The Social Worker said: You need to make sure your own mental state is
right before you even attempt any caregiving - at home...in a care
facility...for friends...for family...for any one. This is a very
taxing endeavor. Many patients in care facilities who receive bruises
and such...receive these from someone who has been "taxed" beyond their
capability.
RECAP: From me: Dementia/Alzheimer's is like....we all have a "filter"
in our mind. This "filter" lets us know what is real, what are
memories, and what are hopes and dreams. With this disease
(dementia/Alzheimer's), it's like the "filter" is gone or deteriorating
be degrees. It is very hard to watch. I've "babysat" for these
patients. You will not convince them they are "in the past" and today
is today. I think when the "filter" goes it lets every memory and
emotion bounce around in the patient's brain and this allows their
emotions to do the same - laugh, cry, anger - in the space of 60
seconds.
Both the Director of Nursing and the Social Worker said you can't
take any of what the patients do or say personally. Some "odd or
hurtful things" are said due to the dementia/Alzheimer's and sometimes
because the patient is elderly and does not feel good. If you are the
type to take things personally - you probably should not be in the
caregiver line or line of helps.
The best is yet to be!!
"Sometimes all you need is for someone to just be there, even if they
can't solve your problems. Just knowing there is someone who cares can
make all the difference." - sun.gazing.com MONA
|
|
|
<
|
