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Along Life’s Way
It’s
Not Fitting: A Fable
© 2018 Lois E. Wilson
Dan was a dapper dresser with a closet full of suits, shirts, vests,
and trousers of all styles and fabrics. There was only one tailor in
the town, and he catered to Dan as he was his best customer.
There, however, was a conflict in their relationship. Dan liked to eat.
His voracious appetite caused problems with his wardrobe.
He frequently returned to the tailor, bringing one of his clothing
items with him, and complained that the item didn’t fit. Dan would try
it on and stand in the 3-way mirror as he accused, “You must have
measured wrong on this! It’s just too tight. Can you let it out for me?
And I don’t expect a bill for the alterations because of your lack of
accuracy.”
The tailor knew Dan’s waist was expanding. He had adjusted so many
clothing pieces to a larger size that he was now allowing extra wide
seam material in any clothing he made from scratch. The extra fabric
gave him more options in the alterations.
Dan would have fewer times to grumble and accuse, “I told you to
measure more carefully.” And less clothing would have to be discarded
because there was nothing left to expand. As Dan’s girth conquered more
and more of Dan’s wardrobe, the Salvation Army benefited.
The tailor was frustrated and exasperated. He decided at his age, he
didn’t need the hassle with Dan every few days. It was ruining his
life. He and his wife decided that he should retire. They bought a
condo in the South and quietly planned their departure. One week, when
Dan was out of town attending a convention on a cruise ship, they
closed the shop and moved.
Stuffed with all the sumptuous buffet meals he had consumed on the
ship, and back in town, Dan knew at least three of his suits needed
altering to make the waists larger. He unloaded them from his car and
walked to the tailor shop door. On it hung a sign which read:
“Thank you for your patronage over the years. I have retired to the
South.”
Moral: When you’re having a fit over a fit, and you don’t have anyone
to blame—you may find the culprit’s reflection in the 3-way mirror.
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