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Communication...
Building Solidarity
Series, Part III
By Elizabeth Horner
It’s a running joke in the family. When I was applying for admittance
into the National Honor Society, I was asked to name my “best quality”,
as well as answer a series of other questions about my character. I put
down that I was “stubborn”. Mom thought that it was a terrible
idea.
Even though she knew I was only jokingly describing my generally
determined attitude--- because the word “stubborn” has a different
negative connotation, she was not thrilled with describing my enduring
attitude that way. “It is like saying that the ‘glass is half empty’
versus ‘half-full’”, she said.
There are tons of nuances to today’s language. It gives writers the
chance to be more precise in their communications. Why say, “The leaves
fell to the ground,” when they can “flutter”, “tumble”, or “come down
in lazy spirals”? But if you are not careful with your words… there are
equally as many pitfalls as there are opportunities. An ill-begotten
phrase might be all it takes to create a false impression of yourself
and your intentions.
My mom has shared a story with me to emphasize the difficulties in
communication. It’s the story about two secretaries working
together in the same work space. One of them said, “I think
somebody deleted my file” when what she was really saying was “I
remember saving what I typed this morning but I can’t find it now in
the data file”. The first statement sounded accusatory while the second
is stated in a more factual way.
I also remember, many years ago, reading a book on self-improvement
that prompted me to challenge myself and prove the book wrong. I
thought it was going to be easy. My goal was not to say one
negative word for 24 hours. I failed miserably.
Sometimes, we say hurtful things when we do not mean it.
Sometimes we utter words without thinking about its potential negative
connotation. Sometimes we express ourselves in ways that come
across as bragging, over-stepping, or insulting when the original
intention is good. Sometimes we just need to focus on what is
being said, and not how it is said if we want to achieve our goal.
I think that it is hard enough to rally people for a cause and to get
them at the right place at the right time. It’s going to be much
more difficult if we can’t overlook some communication problems.
While we could all work to be more positive, it is easier said than
done --- but I think that it is also worth the effort to try.
There’s so much a group or a community can offer for well meaning goals
and objectives. There’s always an abundance of talent to achieve
great things if only people look around to tap on those skills. Good
communication is the key to get where we want to go.
Note: Elizabeth has been
sending out articles about how she views “solidarity”,
“I am writing these articles because I know it is an important subject
that may appear simple to talk about, but to me, is very complicated.
It requires a lot of dissecting and then re-assembling in my
head. More time is required”
Horner will “re-assemble” or summarize her thoughts at a NaFFAA
National Conference in Detroit, Michigan August 2-5, 2012 where she is
one of the speakers during the plenary session. She will talk
about “Building Solidarity between Generations”.
The conference will be attended by national civic leaders, Consul
Generals and the Ambassador of the Philippines to the United States. An
excerpt from her speech reads...
“I believe that no one’s beliefs should be treated as if they don’t
have value, no one’s passionate response should be ignored, and no one
should feel left out of the group to which they play a vital
role. Instead, we should endeavor to reach a compromise that
incorporates some, if not all, of everybody’s most salient
points. I believe that we should always walk away with a healthy
respect even for the individuals whose ideas we could not quite settle
with.
For example, we, young members of this society, may share a flurry of
excited voices and harbored opinions. But adult members should not just
dismiss these as childish. Conciliation and negotiation are stuff
of the real world and real life--- skills that young members should be
learning how to use effectively if they are to prepare for leadership
roles someday.”
A copy of her speech will be made available after the conference.
She thanks Senior Scribes for allowing and supporting the voices of
young members of Darke County Community.
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