Teen to Teen Talk
I Think, Therefore I Am
By Elizabeth Horner 

“One step short of crazy, what do you get?” the character of Ben Gates asked, as he and his friend Riley walked the length of the Washington Mall. The sun was bright as an interrogator’s desk-lamp. 

“Obsessed,” the young computer-tech answered with a snort. 

“Passionate,” came Ben’s quick correction. 

~oOo~ 

It is commonly believed--- not just by the writers of “National Treasure”--- that people are led by their passions. And if I traced the course of my life, more like a tangled box of ribbons than a single string pulled taut to make a time line, then I would probably see how deeply and irrevocably I have been changed by my love of words. Sitting here, writing this article, the keyboard feels warm and familiar under my hands, the steady clack, clack, clack sound like a second heartbeat for me. 

And yet, this interaction demonstrates something else too: the speed at which we associate an extreme--- be it an emotional, philosophical, or physical one--- as being socially inappropriate. 

~oOo~ 

My mom often comes to me with suggestions for articles; maybe a week ago, she handed me a packet listing “thinking errors”, the misbehaviors people get into to avoid taking responsibility of their own existence and problems. I read over each of the definitions, turned the packet over, and tucked it away. When she returned later on, asking me what I thought, I was quite honest: I didn’t believe in teaching people to avoid those behaviors, things ranging from “excuse making”: to “super optimism”. It seemed to me then, and it seems to me now, that those are responses to the stresses of our day-to-day lives, people use them, need to use them for their own sanity. 

Everyone has done something that they are not proud of, something which, if they were forced to think about without defenses and bear the weight of everyday, it would tarnish the face they saw in the mirror as surely as a fresh line of pimples would. I, myself, have lost my temper and said things I didn’t mean, but which can’t be unremembered in the minds of family or friends. I have lost my partners points on group projects due to my errors in judgment. I spent months and months away from my dog when I was at college, and feel guilty when I think how little time I have spent with him since, even though it is summer, and Shiloh loves running so fast that his ears flap against his skull like sails on a ship. And of course, these are just tiny things; as people grow older, and experience more of life, they cannot help but to accumulate more mistakes and more regrets. 

Sometimes, our peace of mind requires us to make little excuses for ourselves. We can say, “Yes, it was mean to yell at Suzy, but I’d had a hard day at school, and she was talking over the season finale of my favorite show. I’m sure if I explain it to her, she will understand and all will be forgiven.” Or, “I know my grades look bad right now, but I’ve spent the last couple of days preparing for the test so it’ll be alright; it has to.” 

To me, at least, that is not a thinking error, but a survival mechanism which stops us from letting the handful of bad things eat at, and eventually consume, our generally happy constitution. And yet…. 

And yet…. I can easily see how any of these habits can get taken too far. There is a tipping point that comes, much sooner than some might expect, where these type of thoughts stop helping you handle your problems, and become the excuse not to address them at all. A belief that things will work themselves out based on logic is different from operating on blind faith. If it gets to the point that your attitude starts hurting your relationships with others, or if school work or job performance is affected, then it is time to think about the role you play in reference to the state of your circumstances. 

It’s not meant to be easy. There were days all I wanted to do was stretch out on my bed like a cat, and read, and read, and read until the fictional world seemed like the real one, but it inevitably led to me not doing my chores, or not completing my homework. Not any excuse about how reading was good for me, or how engrossed I was in it, was going to change those facts. At times, my parents grounded me from books, but now that I am out on my own, I have to learn to ‘ground’ myself--- to know when that inner voice in my head is being reasonable or if, instead, it is working to deceive me.