Along Life’s Way… Manners and Chivalry

By Lois E. Wilson

“Is that you, son, how did your date go?”

“I don’t really know—I’m totally confused. You and dad always told me to be polite and respectful of the opposite sex, and I try to be. However, things I tried to do for this date seemed to offend her to the point she was actually angry.”

“I see. Some women today don’t want men to display good manners. They want to be respected and treated on equal terms. They think men who show manners such as opening doors for them and paying for their meal, offering them their jacket when they seem cold are acts of putting women down. Other women consider these acts chivalry. Some feminists are trying to make activities in the world equal to both sexes. I’m sure it’s difficult for men to follow all their wants and know what to do in a specific situation.

“Knights were expected to show chivalry with its qualities of courage, honor, courtesy, justice and a readiness to help the weak. These were the goals they hoped to obtain and exhibit. In our country as early as 1848 groups began promoting ‘For women-by women.’ The 19th amendment

Of 1920 gave white women the right to vote. It was years later before all women received the same right.

“Some of the feminists groups have worked for other good results. ‘Equal pay for equal work’ has been one of their positive causes. In fact, it spurred me on to confront an employer in a personal case.

“Mom, did you win?”

“I sure did! The man I replaced had been fired for his inadequate work. The employer was pleased with my performance and promoted me to his position. However, I discovered I was not being paid an equal amount as he received when fired. I got my data together and presented it to the boss. I was given a salary increase. In the business world, this goal for women is needed.

“One Florida feminist, Roxcy Bolton, helped persuade national weather forecasters to name tropical storms after both sexes. She didn’t like women being associated with disasters. In 1979 the US went back to including male names but it didn’t happen without a fight.

“I believe as dating relationships move forward, each person has the right to and should explore where each stands on issues. They arise in deciding what is expected now and when children are taught and disciplined. In a marriage, if the woman is too obsessed and too ‘manic’ about her causes, she could become a sad wife. If there is war between the two, the husband may become a ‘woeman.’ Be candid with each other; determine goals. Your lives and love will grow better as you consider concerns together.”

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