By Lois E. Wilson
In “The Devil’s Dictionary,” Ambrose Bierce defines responsibility: “A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.”
Parents hear their youngest son crying He says his brother hit him. They could ignore the event or use it to teach an important lesson. As the mother soothes the crying boy, the father asks the other son, “Did you hit your brother?”
The boy meekly responds, “No! He fell and hurt his arm.”
The father knows his son is lying because he saw the event as it happened. It is a teaching opportunity for him. He ponders an appropriate punishment for the offending son—deprivation of his favorite TV shows, toys, or games? Consequences should fit the situation.
He decides to isolate the son in his room to think over what happened and tells him, “Stay here until you get your story correct. If you’ve done something wrong, you will feel better when you tell the truth. Telling the truth and taking responsibility for your actions is a sign of growing up.”
Driving home from the Mall, in the rear view mirror a mother sees her daughter playing with a small doll. She asks, “That looks like a new doll—where did you get it?”
The daughter answers, “I found it.”
“Where did you find it?”
“In the store, I found it on the floor.” After a few more questions from her mother, she admits she didn’t pay for it.
The mother quickly turns the car around. “We’re going back to the store to talk to the manager.”
Knowing what’s coming, the girl cowers in the back seat.
The girl confesses her theft; the manager is understanding and explains that taking the doll without paying was wrong. He considers giving the doll to her but decides that might motivate her to take other things. Back in their car, the mother emphasizes: “To take without paying is stealing. How would you feel if someone took your bicycle without asking you?” The girl sheds a few tears and answers “I wouldn’t like it!”
It has been said: “To be an adult is to be responsible.” We teach responsibility to our children when we exhibit it ourselves. Teaching it is one of the most important responsibilities all parents share.