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Along Life’s Way
Guilt Trips
By Lois E. Wilson
Family psychologist John Rosemond points out that until “parenting”
took over in the 1970’s, parents did “child rearing.” I remember my
parents tried to bring me up to be an acceptable and contributing
member of society. They did not lower themselves to my level—their idea
was that children need encouragement and elevation of skills to
eventually fit successfully into an adult world.
I was taught that adults are the leaders, and that children follow the
rules adults lay down. It was the goal of parents to bring up
“civilized” children. My husband and I also believed in that manner of
child rearing. Children had their own chores to do: homework, helping
around the house, cleaning one’s room, etc.
At times, probably all parents in order to accomplish goals set rules
that create “guilt trips” for their children. Did your parents,
when trying to get you to eat your vegetables, ever tell you about
starving children elsewhere in the world? One child who did not
want to give in had a solution, “Let’s pack up my peas into an envelope
and mail them off to the hungry kids.”
A guilt trip may occur later in life. Do you ever experience a
flashback when you encounter broccoli? Do you feel guilty if you devour
a calorie-filled dessert?
Former baseball player Kurt Bevacqua is quoted as saying when he first
stepped into one of the modern domed structures, “How can you hit
inside a dome when you grew up listening to your mother tell you not to
play ball inside the house.”
Here are a few childhood admonitions you may have received that could cause flashback guilt trips:
Your face might freeze into that frown.
Clean your plate.
Don’t put your elbows on the
table.
Don’t talk with your mouth full.
Hang up your clothes.
Put your toys away.
Don’t tell family secrets.
Don’t leave the yard without asking or telling.
Don’t interrupt when someone’s talking.
Act your age.
Well, I have to stop now. A guilt trip just set in and prompted me that
I’ve monopolized this topic. But, I must be polite and add, “Thank you
for reading it!”
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