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Broke Wife, Big City
20 Things I’m Thankful For In 2020
By Aprill Brandon
I’ve been reading a lot of pretty mom blogs lately. You know, those
blogs written by moms with shiny hair and actual fruit bowls on their
tables? (Filled with fruit they actually eat.) The moms who have
probably never told their preschooler “oh, bite me” as a rebuttal
during an argument. (She won, by the way). The moms who actually earn
money from their writing? (Dirty accusing glare to all the people not
reading this).
And right now, all the pretty mom blogs are doing a “what I’m thankful
for” post. All of which have some version of the sentence “this year,
perhaps more than any other year, it’s important to focus on what is
most important in life and remember that we should be thankful for
these things, not just on Thanksgiving day, but every day.”
Pfft. LAME.
However, they’re not wrong. This has been a rough year for all of us.
So maybe it couldn’t hurt to focus on what really matters, even though
it goes against the very most basic core of my entire personality.
And thus, I present, the 20 things I’m thankful for in 2020.
1. My health. Which is good. Despite my body being composed mostly of coffee and whiskey.
2. My family. My husband and our two wonderful children. They mean
everything to me. It’s so nice to have everyone home all the time,
working and learning remotely. And I mean, all the time. All the time.
ALL. THE. TIME. And even though the little one threatened to kill me
the other day (it was veiled but it was definitely a death threat) we
couldn’t be closer. So close. All the close.
3. A roof over my head. And it doesn’t even leak. And below that roof
are walls and floors. Filled with mice. City mice. Who will never leave
because nothing scares them and they are much, much smarter than we
are. Although I haven’t ruled out making them chip in for rent.
4. My dog, Buffy. Who at 15 is alive and healthy(-ish) and still loves
to go on walks. I know you’re expecting me to say something snarky here
about him but honestly, what kind of monster makes fun of an elderly
dog she has had since she was in her early 20s and who has farts so
rancid they make rotten eggs smell appetizing.
5. Nature. Majestic, beautiful nature. So majestic and beautiful that I
don’t even mind the mountains of Claritin I have to snort like cocaine
every morning in order to step outside.
6. Technology. For all it has done, especially during this pandemic,
but mostly because it has allowed me to lock myself in the attic and
have happy hour over Zoom with my friends.
7. Speaking of which, my friends, both near and far. All of whom don’t bat an eye when my humor goes to a dark, dark place.
8. The sound of my children’s laughter.
9. The sound of my children sleeping.
10. The sound of my husband yelling at my children because they won’t
stop fighting and they won’t listen to me and I just CANNOT anymore.
11. Wine.
12. Did I say coffee yet?
13. Food. Because it’s good. I don’t know. I’m losing steam. Twenty is a big number.
14. Oh! Peace. That’s a thing that’s always on these lists, right?
15. Deep fried stuffing balls. Nothing snarky or sarcastic to add here. They are the best thing I’ve ever created in my life.
16. Alton Brown’s Thanksgiving turkey recipe.
17. Alton Brown.
18. Oceans. They’re super cool.
19. That 2020 is slowly marching toward its death.
20. All y’all. The ones who read these ridiculous things week after
week. And on purpose, no less. Thank you, truly, from the bottom of the
pit where my heart should be.
Can’t get enough of Aprill? Can’t wait until next week?
Check out her website at http://aprillbrandon.com/
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