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Broke Wife, Big City
So, how are you holding up? (A year of responses)
By Aprill Brandon
I’m OK.
I’m fine.
A bit tired.
You know.
I mean, it could be worse.
I have it better than a lot of people right now.
Well, I just got done Googling “can you die from insomnia?” so, you know.
*primal scream*
We’re ordering pizza for the fourth night in a row.
I just don’t understand. Any of this.
Wishing I could afford therapy.
Can a person’s soul be exhausted?
I had whiskey for dinner.
I feel so helpless.
What even is reality?
I’ve got all these projects I’m working on so, you know, staying busy.
I just want to go somewhere. Do something.
Everything is so surreal. I can’t even go on social media anymore.
I miss people. I miss my family.
Just, I mean, what the $#@%?
I’m fine. Really.
I can’t concentrate on anything.
*manical laughter*
I hate humans.
I’m feeling cautiously optimistic for once.
I doomscrolled all night, how are you?
*primal scream*
I honestly don’t know. I haven’t stopped drinking eggnog with a 40 percent ABV since the day after Thanksgiving.
I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything is fine.
I can’t stop crying.
$#%&^*%!!!!!
I had wine for breakfast so...pretty good right now.
*sobbing*
As well as can be expected considering it’s just endless darkness and
everything is bleak and I’m stuck inside forever with only my family
and panic and dread as constant companions as the plague looms in this
dystopia we are living in but hey, I’m just going to keep making this
popcorn for my kid’s dinner while crying a bit and using every ounce of
willpower I have to stuff these feelings way, way down into the
cellular soil of the body where tumors start.
I’m choosing to make the best of this.
Not good.
When does it get better?
Survival mode. Just endless survival mode.
I’m horrified.
So help me I will murder the next person who suggests the solution to everything is more kindness in the world.
I got so angry I threw my phone at the TV.
There just aren’t words anymore.
I’m numb. Completely numb.
It has to get better soon.
Will it ever get better?
I am dead inside.
Can’t get enough of Aprill? Can’t wait until next week?
Check out her website at http://aprillbrandon.com/
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