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EdSurge
Are the Kids All Right? How to Check in on Their Mental Health During a Tough Time
By Emily Tate
Aug 25, 2020
Like nearly everyone else, children have experienced enormous
disruption during the pandemic. Their schools closed months ago and,
for many, remain closed. They stopped seeing friends and teachers on a
regular basis, or had to get used to seeing them through a screen. Many
of the things they love or look forward to have become unavailable or,
at minimum, altered.
All of these changes are stressors. And they represent only the best of
cases. In the worst, children may be in unsafe or unstable home
environments, they may be housing or food insecure, their family
members may have lost jobs or incomes and they may have seen or
experienced increased violence.
This has led to heightened concerns about children’s mental health, a
primary point of discussion during “Thrive: The Children’s Summit,” a
live virtual event hosted on Tuesday by the Atlantic.
Though much has changed, there are strategies that parents and
educators can use “to help mitigate the stress” and “protect children
and help them feel safe,” said Dr. Jennifer Shroff Pendley, who is the
chief psychologist at Nemours/Alfred I. duPont Hospital for Children
and a professor of pediatrics at Sidney Kimmel Medical College.
It’s important to note that the pandemic has affected children and
families in different ways, based on geography, race, socioeconomic
status, disabilities and a host of other factors. Some children will
naturally experience more stress and anxiety around COVID-19 than
others, Pendley noted.
“For children with a lot of anxiety, we can provide reassurance without
negating their feelings. But don’t assume what they are feeling. Ask
them. Ask if they are OK. Know that all emotions are all right,” she
said.
If a child is doing really well, then great, Pendley said. But if they
are mad or sad, don’t try to disqualify their feelings or tell them
everything will be fine. In fact, it may be appropriate to share your
own difficult emotions, such as by saying, “I’m scared, too,” or, “I am
also angry.”
Be honest and transparent, said Jeanette Betancourt, the senior vice
president of social impact at Sesame Workshop, the nonprofit behind
Sesame Street. But also take into account the context this child is in.
How old are they? For younger children, such as toddlers and
preschoolers, you want to tell the truth in a way they can handle.
“One of the things we know is that to successfully parent, acknowledge
you need to take care of yourself to help your children,” Betancourt
said. “It’s a circle of care. You can’t do it alone.”
She added that a few ways parents can model resilience for their
children is by establishing a sense of safety, following a routine and
being flexible. Obviously, in a pandemic, all three of those goals can
feel—or actually be—unattainable. But even small steps can be helpful,
such as creating and sticking to a morning or dinnertime routine.
Kate Julian, a staff writer at the Atlantic who moderated the
conversation, asked Pendley and Betancourt how the pandemic and social
distancing were affecting the long-term development of young children.
Pendley responded: “I get asked a lot: ‘Is this going to impact our toddlers and preschoolers for life?’”
But a parent’s interactions with their own children are far more
critical than the ones that happen with other adults and children in
social settings, Pendley said. If parents can make time to play with
their kids, or encourage key interactions among siblings—such as
resolving conflict or learning to share—that would go a long way.
Pendley had a few other ideas for stimulating interaction: Grandparents
can call in through FaceTime or Zoom and read a book out loud to their
grandchildren before bed. Or two families can get their kids together
for socially distanced outdoor play in a park or a backyard.
“You can create a lot of those interactions. But for parents … give
yourself a break from that feeling you have to do everything perfectly.
Every opportunity you have with your little one is an opportunity for
their development and for you to help them grow.”
Children love to play and are inherently curious, Betancourt added. She
suggested several other ways to ensure kids continue learning during
this time. For one, kids can find new places and items to explore in
their own homes. Or they can create “comfy, cozy spaces” where they can
go to read books, play games or explore as a family.
Going outside is another great option, Betancourt said. Most people are
reluctant to continue outdoor learning and exploration once the seasons
change. She sees it differently. “What a wonderful way to explore rain
and puddles and snow, as we get into the deeper fall and winter. Having
those opportunities to explore our neighborhood and environment is such
a wonderful way to extend children’s curiosity.”
And when you run out of ideas of activities to do with and for each
other, Pendley suggested thinking of others nearby and doing something
to make their day a little brighter. Research has shown it helps both
parties.
“Doing acts of kindness has positive effects on us physiologically and
psychologically,” she said. “What better way to be with your child than
making cards for the neighbors or doing random acts of kindness around
the neighborhood?”
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